I’ve been saving for two months for my golden retriever’s upcoming surgery. It’s $3,000. My brother called me crying because his car’s transmission died and he needs $4,000 to fix it so he can get to work. He has no savings because he and his wife just got back from a big trip.
Surprisingly, my parents are calling me "cold" and saying the dog can wait. However, I double-checked with the vet, and the surgery needs to happen soon. I told my brother he should have had an emergency fund before going on vacation. Now the whole family is blowing up my phone. AITAH?
NTA
He decided to go on a trip, knowing it would leave him with no savings in case of an emergency.
Now he has an emergency and no savings. FAFO.
NTA
They can all band together to contribute to your brother’s car repairs, shuttle him around, carpool, etc.
You’re not a public fund.
OP should stop sharing their financial info with family. Not salary, bonus or savings.
nta. your brother is not entitled to your money. since your parents are calling you cold, wouldn’t they also be cold if they’re not contributing either?
Theoretically they might not have the money to lend. I’m not defending the brother *or* the parents, the dog comes first and brother better learn to bus or bike. But I’m imagining OP’s brother learned his fiscal planning skills from their parents, so they’d all be similarly broke.
NTA your dog is a living creature, the car will be as broken when they’ve saved up as it is today and it’s their fault they don’t have an emergency fund
Do not under any circumstances give them your surgery fund
I’m guessing you’d also then be pressured to not try and collect that loan because “we’re family”
NTA your dog has no one else to advocate for it. You have a duty to your dog. You don’t have a duty to maintain your brother’s convenience. He should get a loan or borrow from multiple friends and relatives.
Your family is going to try to wear you down for the simple reason that they see you as the easiest target sitting on a pile of money. They don’t want to sacrifice for your brother. They want you to give up your cash because it’s the most painless solution for all of them and they don’t give a shit about your dog.
Anything they tell you about your dog being able to wait or whatever is not based on any knowledge or any consideration for your dog. They don’t know. They don’t care. Those words are just tactical tools designed to lull you into thinking it will be okay to give your money to your brother. If they accomplish that their job is done and they won’t think a single thought more about your dog.
This is the blunt, harsh reality, IMO.
Your brother and his wife should’ve planned better going in a big trip when money is tight. I believe everyone should have an emergency savings fund because things do happen unexpectedly. Also as a dog owner, a dog isn’t just a pet, they’re family as well. And if the surgery is something very important, I would keep the funds for the surgery. Your brother can ask for a loan from the bank and pay them back either way payments. NTA
Why didn’t your brother contribute to your dog’s surgery fund instead of going on a trip? Surely your parents agree that a trip could wait?
NTA
Ouch, I didn’t even think of that. 😂
NTA. They went on a big trip while they had no emergency savings. Not your problem.
NTA. if your parents wanna have an opinion saying the dog can wait, they can pay for the car repairs then. if you’re a cold heartless person, why would they want your money? don’t let toxic family members tell you who you are allowed to care for.
NTA. Your folks can give him the money.
I hope your dog’s surgery goes smoothly.
Repost. Possibly AI.
As a dog owner I remember this story from when it was first posted. Glad to know it’s bullshit now.