AITA My ex husband and I were together for 16 years and have a son. (13). At the time, my ex and the rest of my son’s family lived about 4 hours away, near my parents.
That February, my dad died, and it was very difficult. My son called his dad and told him, but didn’t ask him to come to the funeral; he just figured he would. So I called him and told him that not only was he welcome, it would mean a lot to us. He said yes. We talked a little before he surprised me by saying he’d bring his girlfriend. When I paused, he asked if I was upset.
I had never met her before. In the couple of years that they were off and on going out, he never introduced us. So, I felt it would be really awkward. My son didn’t care if she came because he said their pda made him uncomfortable. So I told him I’d rather he not bring her. He was offended. He thought that because she was a part of his life, she should be able to come.
AITA because I said no? Should he have even expected that?
Edit: Minor spelling corrections
NTA
This isn’t about him. This is about you and his son. He’s supposed to be there to pay his respects to your dad and to comfort your family or at least show his respects to you. He’s making it all about him. Why on earth would his girlfriend even want to come to the funeral anyway??? He sounds like an absolute ass to make it all about him.
NTA. It’s not a wedding. He doesn’t need a plus one. Especially one who didn’t even know the deceased. Your ex can be upset all he wants, it’s your father and your child didn’t want her there either.
NTA. Absolutely no reason for the girlfriend to be there.
You’re not in the wrong. This is about you and your son grieving your father/ his grandfather and not about your ex and his girlfriend. To be honest, it’s actually wild he even suggested bringing her, acting as if this day wouldn’t be super hard for you. He is making it about himself. Do not feel guilty for setting a boundary. You’re doing what’s best for you and your kid and that’s the most important thing. Sending you hugs xxx
NTA. He picked the wrong moment to introduce his girlfriend to the mother of his kid.
Oh hell no! It’s not about him and It’s inappropriate for him to expect to bring her. She didn’t know your Dad or you. NTA.
NTA
Your father’s funeral is NOT the place to introduce his bew GF. He’s there for your son’s benefit, not his own
NTA.
You could say something like “I would be happy to meet her at another time but the funeral for my father and your child’s grandfather just isn’t the place. I understand she’s apart of your life but this is about supporting our son who’s lost a family member.”
❤️
Also I’m so sorry for your loss too.
Your ex shouldn’t be at your father’s funeral much less with a GF in tow. Tell him to stay home
NTA
I hate when my friends want me to meet their bf on “my” special events for close family/friend’s, if I don’t know that person I don’t want to use my time “event” to get to know that person I have much more people that needs my attention.
Just noo, he should feel stupid.. I get it why he is your ex husband 🤦🏼♀️..
NTA. A funeral isn’t a bring a date situation for goodness sake.
Daughter of divorced parents here. When my Nanna died (Mums side) my Dad did come to the funeral but he didnt bring his new wife. If he tried there would have been another funeral!
It is completely disrespectful for your exs new gf to come to your father funeral when you havnt even met her yet!
If this is the gfs idea then sounds like she is trying ti insert herself into your position as mother of his child and you need to show her that will not be tolerated ASAP!!!