I’m 36M and I live with my roommate (30F). We split rent 50/50 and utilities 50/50.
For the last couple of months, her boyfriend has been over about 5-6 nights a week. He showers here, cooks here, and does laundry here. He’s also started spending daytime here pretty often. It feels like we basically have a third person living here most of the week.
Our electric and water bills have gone up. I brought it up calmly and asked if we could either limit overnights to a few nights a week or have him chip in for utilities since he’s here so much. I suggested a simple split like making utilities closer to 1/3 each if he’s here more than half the week.
She got upset and said I’m being controlling and "counting nights", and that she pays her share so she can have guests whenever she wants. I told her I’m not trying to police her relationship, I just don’t think it’s fair for me to subsidize another adult using the apartment like he lives here.
AITA for pushing for a utilities contribution (or fewer nights) instead of just letting it go?