I (20F) met a friend at uni since September. She (20F) in the same friendship group as me. I wouldn’t say we’re best friends, but we’ve gone out to eat together, we have a group chat, and have even talked about travelling as a group. She dmed me last Friday asking if she can borrow £465. She said she uses Trading 212 and needed to pay a fee in order to withdraw her funds. I initially asked if she was sure she wasn’t being scammed, and she said she’d looked into it and it was fine. Reluctantly, I said yes as she said she would pay me back later that day or the next day.
She didn’t pay me back that day, but messaged saying she could send it Monday instead because it was her first withdrawal and it was taking time to process. Monday came and she didn’t message. Early Tuesday morning I asked if she was going to send it. She said she was having phone issues but would send it later that morning.
That evening I messaged her again telling her I need it back. She replied saying the withdrawal was still pending. So I asked her to send me a screenshot of the estimated processing time. She said she’d check, but never sent anything.
On Wednesday, she randomly messaged me if I received the money. I checked immediately… nothing. She said that was “odd “ and that she’d check her account and try again the next day. Thursday came and went with no update.
It’s now been a week. I message her again saying I really need the money back and if she could maybe borrow from her parents and pay me while waiting for the withdrawal.
I feel bad for constantly asking because maybe she’s going through something I don’t know about. I even exaggerated that I’m struggling financially just to get a response (I’m not in crisis but I am a student working part time). I thought this would be a quick turnaround.
I’m started to feel like an idiot for sending that money in the first place.
AITA for begging her to pay me back?
NTA. It’s your money. I wouldn’t loan any to her in the future.
NTA. £465 is not “small change,” especially for a student.
The Trading 212 “fee to withdraw funds” story is a massive red flag. Legitimate platforms don’t work like that. Either she was scammed and is embarrassed, or she’s stalling you.
You’re not wrong for asking repeatedly. You loaned money with a clear agreement. At this point, you need a firm deadline, not gentle reminders.
NTA. I would be firm with her and tell her an exact date you need the money by. My golden rule that I live by is “don’t lend out money that you are expecting to get back.”
NTA, she owes you the money, pure and simple.
She was scammed, BTW. Totally. And that money is gone. They will keep giving excuses and that she has to pay fees, taxes, etc. which just go to the scammers.
NTA, but you’re wasting your energy. If she was planning on paying you back, she wouldn’t be playing these games with you. I would tell her when you expect the money by, get a written agreement from her, remind her a week before the deadline, and then ask her again on the deadline. Even then, I would bet £465 that you’re not getting that money back, sorry to say
No and you’ve learnt a valuable lesson. Next time, the answer is that you can’t help
NTA for asking. Whether or not she was scammed, that’s no reason for her to scam you
When some person you barely know asks you for half a grand, you say no. You know that now.
The good news is that these conversations all took place over text, meaning you have written records, meaning you can take her to whatever the British version of small claims court is and have her ordered by the court to give that money to you.
NTA
It does sound like a scam. But that is not your problem.
Don’t give up.
NTA but to be honest I think the one that got scammed is you. Me personally, I don’t lend anyone money. If I give someone money, its with the expectation that they won’t give it back. I gave a girlfriend/coworker of mine $600 20 years ago and never asked for it back, because I didn’t want her and her newborn to get evicted and I cared enough about the friendship that to me the money was minor. We are still friends to this day and she wants to pay to have me come visit her and the fam because I live on the other side of the country now and can’t really afford the airfare.
That’s a solid way to look at it. Sounds like that $600 turned into a lifelong friendship, which is way more valuable.
NTA.
But I hope you learned a valuable lesson on loaning friends money. If you do, then do it with the expectation that it’s a gift, and do not expect repayment.
Contact her parents if you can. If they do not repay you or get their daughter to repay you, tell the girl you are going to report her to the university security and then to the police. But YTA for sending that much money to anyone without making sure there was a real need for it.