I work in a professional office building with multiple companies. There was a woman (20s) who worked at one of the companies who made a number of people uncomfortable over time, including me.
She kept to herself mostly and spent her lunch break in her car sometimes. That itself isn’t wrong, but there were repeated incidents that stood out.
Multiple times, while walking to or from my car, I could hear her screaming and cursing loudly inside her vehicle. Not just talking loudly, like yelling profanity and what sounded like intense emotional outbursts. It was scary. It sounded like someone in distress or rage.
One day, I also heard what sounded like loud moaning sexual noises coming from her car while she appeared to be sleeping. It was unexpected and inappropriate enough in a public workplace setting that I recorded it briefly, mostly out of sock and uncertainty about what was happening.
There was also ongoing hygiene (medical?) issues that multiple people noticed. She sometimes smelled strongly like feces. I don’t say that to be cruel, it’s was just something people became aware of over time.
What made it more confusing that she otherwise appeared put together. She seemed kind of reserved. She dressed normally, but she started wearing sunglasses inside, probably out of embarrassment, avoided eye contact, and seemed standoffish. Sometimes she wore a heavy clothing, like a cardigan outside even in 90 degree weather.
Other coworkers had mentioned feeling uncomfortable around her as well. Some described her as rude because she wouldn’t respond when spoken to or acknowledge people.
One day after work, I happened to leave around the same time as her. I noticed her driving in circles on the main road near the office instead of going home. I stayed behind her briefly because I was already on the same road and she continued looping with stopping or going anywhere specific.
At this point, I started to feel uneasy. Her emotional outburst, isolation, and unpredictable behavior made me concerned about what she might be capable if she had some kind of breakdown.
The recording was shared with her company and it may have leaked out there to others from them. Eventually she was let go from her job. I didn’t intend to harm her. I just didn’t feel comfortable ignoring behavior that seemed unstable and unpredictable.
AITA?
YTA. Mind your own business. If girl isn’t hurting you or anyone else, there’s no need to involve yourself. If your concerned, find her (or if need be, your employer) and try and bring up concerns at an absolute most.
Coworker clearly going through some shit, guess I better get her fired instead of asking her if she’s ok.
YTA for specifically recording her while she appeared to be sleeping in her car. She wasn’t endangering anyone. I understand your discomfort, but that’s a privacy violation that goes beyond whatever she was doing.
However, NTA for reporting behavior that made you and others uncomfortable. It just wasn’t appropriate to record her in that moment.
I mean you recorded her and set out to help her lose her job. Instead of helping a person who appeared to be struggling. YTA
YTA – she wasn’t hurting anyone & you had no right to film her; maybe she was having nightmares, since you said she was napping – but tbh it was NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
FFS you contributed to her losing her job for behaviour on her break: you did intend to cause her harm b/c she was ‘different’ and busybodies can’t stand that, having to make up dangerous assumptions to justify meddling but not helping…major AH
Recording someone without their consent is a huge violation of privacy, especially if they’re just trying to rest. You could’ve talked to her or a supervisor first instead of jumping straight to filming.
YTA You know why.
You got her fired. YTA.
The important issue here is that no matter how weird her behaviour was, or how concerning with regards to her mental health, she wasn’t doing a bad job at work and she didn’t do anything that threatened anyone else. How did you think you would help her by showing this video to the company? It was never going to help. It was obviously going to get her in hot water. And she wasn’t even on company time or premises!
Yta! Absolutely!! You caused her to lose her job! Who care about what she is doing on her time away from work. She showed up and did her job. What she did when she was not on the clock is not any of your concern or business
Info: why were you following and recording this woman without her knowledge over multiple days? You understand that doesn’t make you sound like the good guy in any story, right?
Yes. She’s not physically in the work space.
Wow. This started out and I was thinking it would end somewhere completely different. A place of empathy and respect and community and human connection.
Instead…you essentially got her fired, depriving her of any medical care she may need by eliminating her employer-provided health insurance, and did nothing to actually help her.
You are totally without a doubt a huge YTA.
You need some introspection.
YTA, but based on your responses I don’t think you care. personally if i saw a coworker recording someone sleeping in there car i would report them and feel uncomfortable around you.
You should get a job in an intelligence department. In Russia or North Korea.
YTA