So today was just a pain with clients and today out of nowhere I got a flat, waited 30-40 minutes in the sun for a triple A, have a bad cough, not to mention I felt I left my glasses at a bar. Spent the money I had been saving for classes for new tire, then find out my BF wasn’t going to tell me he wouldn’t have money for rent or Insurance but has money for Amazon and going out for drinks…then Once home finally thinking I can eat finally I get a bunch of calls from clients upset about little stuff and repeating myself. I come in and just express I don’t want to talk I’ve had a bad day and tell my mom that my partner won’t pay rent but I saved money so I can cover but she asks me so many questions and I just sighed so heavily and told her “ Ma I’m just so exhausted I honestly don’t have the energy to care right now. Just not going to classes this quarter so you can ask him cause I just don’t want to talk atp”
Partner who I’m upset at but trying to keep a chill vibe with comes in mad at me saying my moms balling her eyes and saying I’m not nice and to be careful I’m not in a good mood.
I just wanted to break down but I have no care.
I’ve started looking at hotels to just get away. For a week or even a day to just be me and not care about someone else would be nice or even a night to just drink and masturbate for fuck sake would help me…Just feel I’m hitting a point where I’m gonna scream or cry and I feel horrible
NTA.
Sounds like your mom is just emotional and took it like you don’t want to talk to HER only. So when your boyfriend saw her crying obviously he didn’t get the full story. It’s hard for others to put themselves in your shoes, especially your bad day shoes.
On another note, it’s a bummer your boyfriend doesn’t seem to have his priorities straight on saving money and paying his fair share of rent. It’s fine to bail him out here and there, but make sure he isn’t going to make a habit of it… you’ll end up resenting him very quickly.
NTA. You sound like you need a break, and you did the right thing by asking for one. Sorry that you were not understood.
NTA.
Sounds like burnout to me. I’ve got no training or anything but it’s what mine felt like.
If you can then yes, take the day at a hotel. With a hot tub/ jacuzzi thing if that’s something that you’d enjoy.
If the Amazon/alcohol before rent is a common thing may want to drop that now before it makes things worse.
It’s absolutely burnout. I think most of us are there right now.
NTA and I have no idea why a grown adult can’t accept that someone is feeling overwhelmed and just needs some quiet time. If you can get away for a bit to recharge, absolutely do it.
I feel bad too cause he’s asking me what’s wrong something is wrong and I suggested going to our hot tub and it was filthy. I feel so done I just wanted to sit but either way him I was like let’s just go back. Now he keeps asking me what’s up and I just said I need to have alone time and I think I upset him. I understand why it hurts but I feel bad asking and just this whole day I’m holding back crying. Hopefully tomorrow I’m better and embarrassed of all this but I just feel I need a hotel right now to be alone.
I told him before stop spending so much but he always tells me he gots it and then when I say put your check in the joint acct he say it’s controlling but in moments like this that happen frequently I just feel controlling and mad he’s like this.
A hotel away from everyone and everything sounds like heaven rn. With some whiskey or hot chips and comfort show/food.
My spouse does that, where they hover and INSIST you vocalize something and honestly I just need my space.
Before I hit burnout it would get me so mad and I’d yell and swear and then cry and somehow that was okay. When I burned out I basically just shrugged and told him to just give me the script for what he wanted me to say and do in answer to his questions. That was when he realized it was bad. Like. BAD bad…
If he cannot be your equal though then nice you’ve got enough jam to do so you may want to drop him. He’s draining you right now the way you are describing this. One less drain may be the difference that lets you heal.
Feels like it right now tbh just need to sleep it off right now I feel like
Have a good sleep. Hope it’s a good one and you get some clarity in the morning. (Not as in ‘see things my way’ but as in ‘see a way to align your life so you can get out of burn out’)
Yeah I usually ended up scream crying or venting everything but I feel it’s not safe to do that with a bad mindset and saying things that don’t need to be said. Sleeping it off and waiting till I have a clear mind I’m hoping will be best to do so that I can communicate better without bringing emotions. Just wanting pigeon content to help me feel better and sleep peacefully.
Talking to my mom tho…I’ll apologize tomorrow. Not sure what I did to hurt her so I feel it will be a awkward or tense conversation
Burnout can absolutely drain you to the point where even small talk feels impossible. The hotel idea is solid—sometimes you just need to completely disconnect to start recharging. Definitely worth addressing the spending habits too, that stress can sneak up on you.
NTA. You need to recharge and take care of you so you can take care of your clients.