I (27m) have been sports betting a bit more recently. For background I’ve never went into a casino in my life, I don’t even know how to play blackjack or poker (and have no desire to learn).
I started sports betting more after late 2024 when I put down a $20 bet for the first time and won $1150. I’ve been betting sporadically since then but I’ve been doing it a bit more lately because me and my gf have booked an upcoming trip to Europe that’s really pricey and I’m hoping to recoup our costs through the winnings.
Where I may be the asshole: we have joint accounts and she is completely and totally against betting. She has a family member that had a severe gambling addiction so she has trauma from that. She doesn’t like that im using our shared money to gamble which, to some degree I understand but we’ve agreed to pool our accounts so I don’t see how it’s cost effective to open up a brand new bank account (with the associated fees) when I can just continue to do what I’m doing.
My opinion is that I don’t have an addiction. I have a limit of $20 (in terms of never putting down a bet worth more than $20) and I never deposit more than $45 on a monthly basis into the betting account. I went into the app and my statistics say that since November 1 2024, I’ve gambled $397 and I’ve won just over $6000 so I’m way up. Of course when I withdraw the winnings it goes into our joint account. When I go on a losing streak I always stop for a few weeks as a sort of cooling off period.
I think I have a healthy relationship with it, I do it just for fun and I don’t take it serious but I mentioned to her that I might do it a bit more just to see if I can win some money to offset our costs for this trip. She revealed that she’s uncomfortable with how much I’m betting and she’s worried that I have an addiction, and she would like me to stop or at least severely tone it down. I told her that I get that she has trauma with what happened to her brother but my commitment is that I’ll always be responsible and it’ll never get out of hand. She feels that I’m not listening to her concerns – wouldn’t say it’s a big argument but it’s certainly a disagreement for sure, so I wanted to see some perspectives.
> I don’t see how it’s cost effective to open up a brand new bank account (with the associated fees) when I can just continue to do what I’m doing.
Cause those costs are less than the costs to her mental health of her having to relive the trauma of addiction.
> told her that I get that she has trauma with what happened to her brother but my commitment is that I’ll always be responsible and it’ll never get out of hand
Betcha he said same thing.
YTA. For the cost of a checking account, you could spare your wife having to be worried bout this but thats not cost effective to you?
Peace has to be worth something.
YTA. You know she has strong feelings from dealing with a loved one’s addiction, why is it more important to you to keep doing it, let alone increase the amount? And some general gambling advice: Quit while you’re ahead; it never lasts long.
*edited to fix a typo
YTA. Because this is clearly a red flag to your gf. It’s not about the money…she would rather see you stop. I think a lot of addicts started after a big win. That’s what she’s afraid of. Plus, all addiction will say they are winning. This is about sharing values, not about how much money you lose/win.
YTA. Gambling is not a method of income.
I watched casual sports betting ruin a boss of mine. He thought his bookie was his friend. I warned him once, but otherwise let him be. He lost his job and his girlfriend, and I don’t know where he is now.
YTA quit before it turns into an addiction.
If you genuinely think it’s possible to recoup losses gambling then you should never ever gamble. YTA for extreme naivety.
YTA open a second account or stop
If it’s a joint account then if you ever start gambling more, you’re fucking up HER financial future. She gets a say in what’s done with her money. Open a new account and only gamble with the separate account. I’m sure she’d happy forego the winnings in exchange for peace of mind that you won’t financially ruin her with sports betting
Yta
You share money and she is against betting, case closed. Not to mention it is a flawed way to try and save for a trip.
Open your own saving account if you want to be stupid and try your luck.
YTA and a possibly a compulsive gambler.
YTA, and if you keep this up, it’s very likely she’ll leave you, bud.
Dude, YTA. If you know its traumatic to gamble with your joint bank account, shouldn’t you at least do your GF the courtesy of opening your own account? Sure, maybe it will cost $100 and a couple hours to open one, but isn’t that worth it to make your girlfriend feel so much better?
Not only are YTA, you’re also an addict.
>I’ve been betting sporadically since then but I’ve been doing it a bit more lately because me and my gf have booked an upcoming trip to Europe that’s really pricey and I’m hoping to recoup our costs through the winnings.
When you start depending on gambling wins to pay your bills, you’re an addict, no matter what you want to call it.