I have been asked by my ex wife of 6 years to split a vet bill 50:50 for a dog we bought 2 years before we divorced.
The dog lives with my ex and my 3 adult children. After the divorce I have dog sat when they went on holiday a couple of times, but apart from that the dog has stayed with them in the family home.
I now live in another country (for the past year) about 1,000 miles away and am retired so do not have as much income as I used to have.
I have suggested that we split the bill 5 ways between us all.
When I lived in the same country, I used to take the dog for a walk every weekend to help out with the task (and I enjoyed doing so) and I do care about the dog, but it seems unfair to me to be asked for a 50% contribution.
I have helped in the past with vet bills in the first year or two after the divorce; but it feels like 50% is too much and a little unfair now that my children are now all adults (20-25).
Your candid replies appreciated.
Your proposal of splitting 5 ways is more than fair. This dog is not 50% your responsiblity anymore.
NTA. They’re just trying to sponge off you especially when your kids are adults
The dog is hers. I wouldn’t even pay 1/5 so 1/5 is more than fair.
It’s their dog now. Their responsibility. Curious if she would split cost if it was your dog living with you a thousand miles away from her
Unless you get to enjoy the dog’s company 50% of the time, 1/5 is more than fair.
NTA,
The responsibilities of the dog should’ve been determined after the divorce by who would keep 100% ownership.
You’re not in the country and dont own that dog. This is like repairing a car that you bought together years ago and no longer own. You owe 0%, but splitting 5 ways is a good compromise.
I wouldn’t even pay a pound. Their dog, their problem.
It’s her dog now, she can pay for it.
NTA but frankly i don’t understand why you’d be respondible for any amount of a vet bill for a dog you no longer own??? when my parents divorced my dad NEVER asked my mom to pay for anything for our dog, because our dog stayed with him and no longer belonged to my mom….
It is kind and generous of you to offer anything, because absolutely none of it is required. This is not the same as putting money towards schooling or something for one of your adult children. I wouldn’t be making this a suggestion. I would be *telling* her “I am happy to pay X amount to help out, but asking me to cover 50% of the vet bill for a pet that is not mine and that I never see is not a reasonable request. I care about the dog’s wellbeing, but it is not my responsibility.”
Don’t give them any money for vet bills. That dog is fully theirs now.
You don’t pay shit, because it is no longer your pet and hasn’t been since the divorce. You’ve dog sat a few times now to be nice since there is familiarity (which is the right thing to do), and you took it for occasional walks (also a nice thing to do), and even already helped out with some vet bills (while nice of you, is not your responsibility). Any expenses incurred however are no longer yours to cover. It is NOT your dog, and common sense applies here. If you so choose to put ANY money towards the dog’s care, then they should STFU and be thankful. NTA OP, and you would be justified in not paying anything at all TBH.
Your ex took the dog so it’s on her to pay, not you or your kids.
NTA
She kept the dog in the divorce so it’s her responsibility. NTA