My mum recently visited me (I live abroad) and I asked her to take a couple of things back for my brother who I haven’t seen in over a year. I had bought him a pair of sneakers, 2 chocolates and a Tshirt. My brother only received one of the chocolates and when I asked my mum why, she said she was hungry when taking the train to airport so she ate it. She had bought a lot of chocolates and biscuits as gifts for other people so I asked why didn’t she something she bought and her response was that she just grabbed the first thing from her very packed back . I said it was a weak excuse and she didn’t give me a heads up or even apologize and she said she forgot about it until I mentioned it and is it a big deal it’s just chocolate. She said she wasn’t going to get into a tizz over food and will give me the £9 for the chocolate (it was a premium chocolate) and she apologised for the gift not reaching the intended recipient. The apology seems insincere after saying I’m making this into a big deal for some chocolate. AITA for bringing it up?
Nta. Tell her to give the money to your brother right away and check she does.
Now you know you can’t trust her to transport food items
I personally wouldn’t trust her to transport any gift after that
NTA
it’s not really about the chocolate, it’s about the fact that it was a gift you chose for your brother and she decided to use it without telling you. that would rub most people the wrong way.
at the same time, it is a small item in the grand scheme of things, so it probably doesn’t need to turn into a huge conflict. you brought it up calmly, she offered to pay you back and apologized (even if it felt half-hearted). that’s not you being unreasonable.
you’re allowed to feel annoyed. just decide whether it’s worth holding onto, or if you’d rather let it go now that it’s been acknowledged.
NTA she ate your gift to preserve the amount or boom or her gifts. No one would question a child getting another child just 1 chocolate. But an adult dipping into someone’s gift of cookies? That’d be strange.
She should of just gotten herself a new candybar
NTA. Don’t trust your mom to carry stuff for you.
NTA, while it’s not a big deal. She’s making it a bigger deal by being so rude about it.
NTA but why are you still upset about this to the point you’re asking internet strangers?
Sure it sucks. Your mom was rude about it.
It’s your mom.
Complain about your mom stealing his gift, to your brother, both of you laugh about your mom sucking sometimes, and move on.
What’re you going to do at this point? Cut your mom off forever? Tell her the internet acknowledged that you’re correct that she was rude, even though she also pretty much acknowledged it?
What do you want here?
Ask her how she would feel if she had selected a specific gift for a specific person, but you decided you wanted it more, so you took it without telling anyone.
SMH
NTA but I don’t really see the point of this. She did a bad thing, everyone knows it and agrees, she apologized and said she’ll reimburse you. Maybe the apology was insincere, but this still feels like a resolved situation and I don’t know why it needs to go on the internet.
EDIT just read the bot response and I’m tempted to change my vote to ~~YTA~~ ESH for saying mom “gaslit” you. Even by the asinine Reddit definition where any lie that anyone tells you ever is “gaslighting,” I don’t see that here.
NTA. She intentionally ate the one you bought and not one she bought.
NTA for calling her out. It’s hard for some parents to grasp that there’s a point at which they need to take their adult children as seriously as any other adult.
But she’s apologized and offered to pay for it, so I don’t know what else you want here. Seems like time to drop it and move on.
The real issue here isn’t so much the lost chocolate as it is the concern that you can’t trust your mom. She took something without asking or telling you, and when confronted, downplayed your concerns. Her behavior is dishonest and disrespectful, even if it’s just a chocolate bar. Now she’s making you out to be ridiculous for caring. You aren’t. So accept this little bit of validation from an internet stranger, and know you’re NTA.
She could’ve just said sorry and meant it. Brushing it off is the annoying part