Sorry in advance this is a bit long. Just for a quick background, my friend, Emily, (18F) and I (18F) have been friends for five years. For those who don’t know, Noah Kahan is going on tour this summer. When he announced his tour, Emily texted me and said we had to go together. I am a huge Noah Kahan fan and she listens to his music as well, just not as much. We both agreed to sign up for presale and whoever was closer in line, would buy the tickets. I immediately signed up for pre-sale, but my friend Emily forgot. She texted me the day before pre-sale opened upset as to why she couldn’t sign up. I had to explain pre-sale closed leaving me to buy us tickets. Emily and I disagreed on seating, she wanted nosebleeds and I wanted floor seats. She explained she saw the Lumineers in nosebleeds and she could see them just fine, but I had to explain that being in nosebleeds in a concert hall versus a baseball field, where the Noah Kahan concert is, is very different. She didn’t care. When I told her again I wanted to get as close to the floor as possible she just responded with “we’ll see.” I even tried compromising offering to buy her a nosebleed and I get myself as close to a floor seats as possible. She responded “yah.” That night I called another friend of mine (19F), who we can call Jackie. I told her about my anxiety surrounding buying tickets and how I wasn’t willing to sit in the nosebleeds for my favorite artist and how Emily didn’t seem to care. At one point I said something along the lines of “maybe I should just invite you instead.” Jackie said if Emily didn’t agree to sitting in different spots, she would love to go with me. The next day, I got in line on ticketmaster and ended up being placed around eight hours thousand. Once I got in, the nosebleeds were almost sold out but a lot of floor seats were still left. I begged Emily to get closer to the floor but she refused as anything over $200 was to expensive. I again offered sitting in different sections and she responded “I don’t really want to go to a concert if we’re not going to sit together.” So I responded “okay, then you don’t have to go” and hung up. In hindsight not the nicest thing I could’ve done, but tickets were selling before my eyes and I was incredibly stressed. I called Jackie and we immediately bought floor tickets right next to the stage. I was so excited I posted about it multiple times on instagram and Emily hasn’t talked to me since.
I know shes upset but I can’t help but think that she had a general sale and resale of tickets that she could buy if it’s really that important. Am I the asshole?
NTA. You offered a compromise, she declined. Have fun at the concert x
Concert tickets are insane.
You did nothing wrong though your communication skills could use polishing.
YTA. And so is Emily.
Y’all couldn’t compromise.
She forgot to sign up for pre-sale but if she had and she did the same? You’d be livid.
Over $200 was out of her budget, which you failed to consider.
You are young, lot to learn about friendships. You decided a concert seat was your hill to die on.
i mean.. if you wanna sit close, sit close. if she wants to get nosebleeds, she can.
clearly you both wanted to sit in diff places. its not fair for you nor her to step out of what you want for the other. you were both looking for other things.
this is why you should clarify budget + what seats you want BEFORE presale. since you guys were looking for diff things, you easily could have said “we can sit separately but we can hang out before and after”
i know this from experience, bc this is what has happened with me and my friends several times. they’ve never gotten mad, nor have I. but you guys ARE young, so you live and you learn!
nta. its her money and its your money. both are justified in not wanting to do the other. you are justified in using your money for crappy seats, shes justified in not wanting to spend money either. its an optional event, and has no real weight on either of yall outside this event. so no you arent an AH. if she wants to be butthurt that you wanted to spend your money on tickets for an experience you wanted to enjoy, she ahs bigger personal issues to solve and im not talking emotionally.
NTA. She couldn’t afford and didn’t want to sit where you could and wanted to sit. It simple, don’t go with her. It’s ok. Don’t feel bad.
NAH – who’s Noah kahan?
Folk singer.
ESH—you’re friends. Freaking COMPROMISE already. There’s a ton of middle ground between the floor and the nosebleeds. The worst part is you ditched your friend for another. Also, pyou’re talking about Noah Kahan here. The man just stands there singing with his guitar. That’s it. It’s not like you’ll be closer to some amazing theatrical spectacle. You’re paying hundreds of dollars to be closer to a guy who is going to stand there singing. Your friend has a better grasp on the concept of cost/benefit. Noah makes great music, but the volume is the same in every section.
NTA
Considering the cost of tickets and how differently you both saw things, you probably should have had a more in-depth discussion of what you were going to buy before you were staring at a hard timeline. At the very least, you didn’t have a clear agreement between the two of you.
That said, yes, you could very much so have remembered that this is a friend you are talking to, and spoke to her like that. She at the least, deserves an apology. But you don’t have to take her to the concert, obviously.
Nta she didn’t want to spend on decent seats you didn’t. She didn’t want to sit apart so she doesn’t get to go…
NTA. You got out in an awkward position and acted awkwardly; but she didn’t want to go in the seats that were available.
NTA she wouldn’t even find a compromise and you shouldn’t suffer because she’s stubborn