My boyfriend and I had been together about 7 months at the time (we had known each other for years before dating). He had a very close female friend from high school. They were part of the same friend group and were best friends, but there was never anything inappropriate between them. But I wasn’t like really close with her so I told him he don’t have to tell me every time she’s there while hanging out or every time he sees her on the street.
About 7 days into our relationship, he went to her family house(we were in the highschool at that time). We were texting the entire night (I was at a birthday party). The conversation kind of implied he might stay over, and he told me when he went to sleep and texted me again in the morning when they left for school. Later, when I indirectly brought up that he stayed over, he said he thought he had told me and that he’d been updating me the whole time. He didn’t hide that he slept there, but he also never clearly said “I’m sleeping at her place.” They slept on separate floors, and both of their parents are strict about that kind of thing, so I really didn’t worry about that. It bothered me that he wasn’t explicit, but we had only been together for a week.
Before New Year’s, he went to her dorm for coffee with a group. He didn’t directly tell me beforehand, but we were sharing locations at the time so I could see where he was. He sent me a Snapchat while there. When I asked why he didn’t tell me before going, he said I had previously told him he didn’t need to inform me every time she was around, so he didn’t think it was necessary and that’t why he only sent a Snap. After that we agreed on each other telling who we hang out with
They weren’t as close anymore by march. One day she sent a snap from her dorm room showing him there literally standing and working on a laptop. I asked if he was at her place hanging out, he first responded, “I told you I don’t hang out at her place anymore because I don’t want you to get upset.” Then he sent a voice message explaining that they ran into each other, she asked for help downloading a program at her place, and they planned to do it at a café since he didn’t want to be at her place that long. What he didn’t initially mention was that they briefly stopped by her dorm (about 5 minutes) to connect the laptop to stronger internet and download something before going to the café with the laptop. After he saw how it looked on Snap, he clarified that they did quickly go inside to set it up, then immediately left for the café (which I know is true because she posted from there shortly after). Her roommate was there the whole time.
I reacted strongly because it felt like he lied when he first implied he wasn’t at her place. My friends think I overreacted and that he answered in the context of not “hanging out” there, and didn’t think those 5 minutes mattered.
They’re no longer friends for a while now, he’s been very transparent about everything, but those things bothered me. Does this sound like lying, or just miscommunication? And was I the asshole for my reaction?