A few months ago, my cousin’s son (I’m very, very close with his mother) crashed his vehicle while visiting home. He has a young family and money is tight. Around that time, I had been considering selling my 10-year-old vehicle. I’ve owned it since new. Most maintenance was done at the dealership, recalls were addressed whenever I was notified, and at my last service I was told some larger maintenance would likely be coming in 6–12 months, but nothing urgent or unsafe. I disclosed that at the time of sale.
I checked comparables on Kijiji and Facebook Marketplace and could have sold it for $4–8k more than what I accepted. He didn’t have enough for market value, so he made an offer and his parents added some money to help him. I agreed to the significantly reduced price because of the relationship and because I knew he was in a tough spot. It was significantly below what I could have received selling privately to a stranger.
Now, about 2.5 months later, he’s telling me the engine developed a knocking noise. After inspection, there were bronze shavings in the oil filter and he was told it may be a bearing failure. He also found information online about a potential recall related to connecting rod bearings for that model year. I was never notified of any outstanding recall beyond what had already been completed, and I had no knowledge of an engine issue at the time of sale. The car was running normally when it left me, aside from a minor ticking I had been told previously was not urgent.
He reached out respectfully and is asking if we can “find a solution that feels fair.”
Here’s where I’m conflicted:
I sold it as a private sale, no warranty.
I disclosed known upcoming maintenance.
I heavily discounted the price because of his situation.
I did not know of any engine defect.
I could financially help a bit if I chose to.
I feel terrible about his circumstances. I also feel like I already extended significant generosity by selling far under market value. If this had been a stranger-to-stranger sale, there would be zero expectation of compensation.
Would I be the asshole if I declined to give money toward the repair?
Any other thoughts or possible solutions I’m open to because I don’t want to lose my friendship over this.
NTA. The car was sold “as is” and you were forthcoming about possible coming issues. Not your problem. If you give in, I’m guessing this won’t be the last issue for which they would ask for $ from you.
Next time, sell it at market value and avoid the uncomfortable family issues.
Sigh.. I’m sure.. His mom often makes comments about me being “rich”.. I’m not, but I’m careful with finances, so it seems like I’m rich to some people.
Folks often think those financially responsible are “rich” cuz they fritter away their money and have none. That’s not your problem. They need to learn to budget and have the proverbial rain day fund.
Tell auntie to cut out the comments and that you are financially responsible, live within your means, and planning for your future.
Private car sales are “as is” according to Judge Judy. She is the highest authority.
I love me some Judith sheindlin
Only Judy can judge me
If there is a recall then surely the local dealers can sort it out for him? If not then too bad. He bought a used car. No car lasts forever.
NTA. Your solution was selling it to him way below market value. I’m sure that didn’t feel fair to you, in the moment, but you did it, with the best of intentions, to help him out. Next time, don’t mix business with family/friends; when it goes sideways, it ruins relationships.
I would explain it to him much like you laid it out here.
I’m very sorry that a problem has developed with the car. However it’s a used car and one that you have been driving for 2.5 months. There is no way either of us could have predicted an issue so long after the sale. I sold the car to you deeply discounted and I could have gotten much more for it selling it elsewhere. I have already taken a financial hit by way of the discount. I don’t feel morally or legally obligated to any further assistance with the upkeep of your car.
They bought a used car. You told them everything you knew at point of sale. Once they bought it… everything after that is their issue. Maybe the wear and tear is because of something stupid he’s done since owning it 🤷♀️ you’ll never know.
If it was a manufacturing defect, and he thinks there’s a recall, he can get that taken care of himself via the proper channels. Otherwise does he expect you to maintain the car at your expense forever? At this point it doesn’t actually seem to have been fully investigated. A brand mechanic would know the details of all recalls/defects and can settle that side of it.
Whatever the issue is, did he get it checked before purchase? – if not that’s on him and no doubt this issue wouldn’t have been detected anyway.
I think you should discuss the points you’ve made here regarding the significant difference in price with your friend and try and get her to see it is fair that he takes care of the car himself.
I’ve been debating selling my car to a family member. This post just convinced me not to. Thanks. NTA.
Life’s lessons. Never loan money to a family member with the expectation of ever getting it back. Never sell a car to a family member with the expectation that you won’t be held responsible for anything that goes wrong with the car indefinitely.
Are THEY willing to lose YOUR friendship over this? Because that is the more accurate question. You already gave him a significant chunk of money by making the sale of the car part gift. You are not at all obligated to gift him further and if your friends would write you off due to that, then they are the ones that tanked the friendship, not you.