I am a 21-year-old female, and I have two female friends (21-year-old female + 23-year-old female). We have been friends since 2022. Recently, I felt that they had become so close that I began to feel like an insignificant third party. They organize things together without thinking about me. They go out together, meet almost daily, without my knowledge, and at the end of the day they talk about everything they done together in our shared Whatsapp group. After feeling lonely for a while, I decided to get to know other people, and that’s where I met another girl (female, 21). After some time, I posted a picture of us on my Instagram story, which, for some reason, made them angry. AITAH because I sought another friend due to loneliness and because of their constant exclusion of me?
Edit: However, they aren’t talking to me now. I was an admin with them in the WhatsApp group, but they removed that feature from me, preventing me from speaking or interacting with them in the group. I can only watch.
NTA. They excluded you, you made a new friend, and somehow that’s the problem?
Exactly, thank you.
Nta. Honestly leave the group entirely if that’s how they respond. You’re growing older every day, lord forbid you meet new people. It’s weird, their response. They can be close and whatever, you can try to salvage the relationship if you want, but you are not TA
Thank you. I’ve actually thought many times about leaving… and that’s what I think I’ll do. There’s no better solution, and no point in staying friends with them.
Yeah, that’s probably you’re best bet. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with that, it can imagine it’s not easy.
But at least you’ve made other friends
Thank you so much. It’s okay, it’s not your fault. I’m going to get even more friends, because that’s what life is about. Experiencing.
NTA First of all good for you for not dwelling on it that much and looking for other friendships. Most people don’t have that type of thought process to do that. Maybe TAH for not talking to them about the situation. Unless you left that part out. It sounds like you my have cut some dead weight and meet a new friend. You are still young. There are so many more people that you will meet through your life. Some will stay, some will leave just enjoy being around the people that when they are there.
Thank you for giving your opinion. Actually, I was honest with them once about how I felt, and they denied it and said that I didn’t see things clearly, so I didn’t bring it up again.
NTA
Most people have multiple friends/friend groups depending on their different interests. Invest in as many people and friendships as you want. And really… leave the group chat that you are only a spectator in. That’s not what healthy friendship looks like.
NTA it’s like they’re trying to control who you can be friends with. Make as many or as few friends as you want. Personally I’d remove myself from the group text thing, nobody needs to keep toxic people around you.
Thank you. I’ll definitely leave the group chat, and I’m already trying to make other friends.
NTA. Even without their exclusion of you I don’t see the reason for such a reaction to you getting a new friend? They seem like they have issues and maybe never liked you to begin with. Don’t give the situation energy it doesn’t deserve.
NTA: They were purposely bullying you. People can have more than one friend group in a healthy friendship.
If you ever doubt your actions ask “Am I wrong for not being a good little bullying victim?” Because that’s why they were mad.
Nta. Trio friendships are extremely hard and take a lot of work to be healthy. I (36f) have 2 best friends from elementary school. We’ve gone through phases where it feels like one person is the odd man out. There were a couple gap years during college where contact was pretty limited and mostly just superficial social media stuff but after that our friendship rekindled. I’m currently the odd man out. They both have so much in common. They are both teachers, have kids and are moms of children with complex behavioral problems. I’m child free and don’t work because of disability. My life and their lives are incredibly different. But we love each other and make it work. Despite sometimes feeling like a third wheel in the conversation I don’t take it personally. But that’s because we’ve built a strong foundation.
It’s okay to leave friendships that no longer work. If you’re feeling lonely and excluded then leaving is a healthy choice.