I (24M) had plans to hang out with a friend of mine (21M) recently. Later that evening, I informed him in advance and texted him “hangout cancelled.” to let him know I wasn’t going to make it.
A bit later, I ended up going out with another friend (20F). It wasn’t something I planned in advance when I cancelled, but I get how it might look from the outside. The issue is that my original friend earlier ended up seeing me out with that friend around the same time we were supposed to hang out.
Since then he’s been acting weird. (he lives close to me). From his perspective, it probably looks like I cancelled on him just to hang out with someone else instead. That honestly wasn’t my intention. I did cancel ahead of time rather than ghosting. Now I’m wondering how I should proceed. So AITA?
YTA. You should of said no to the other friend or invited the original hangout.
YTA – what was reason for cancelling? Couldn’t you have invited them out?
At very least speak with them about this.
Yes of course YTA. If you had checked if the cancelled hangout could be reinstated, it would have changed everything, but you didn’t. You chose other plans rather than the ones you had, and you got caught. You know you’re the AH
YTA. You told your “friend” that you couldn’t hang out and then saw someone else.
YTA
Unfortunately YTA
I’m not sure your reasoning for cancelling with friend A, but even if it was a personal issues going out with friend B was a bad move. If it wasn’t personal before it’s most definitely perceived as personal niw. The conditions to go out with one friend vs another can be subjective, but no matter what way you slice it, it looks bad. Friend A had a right to hurt feelings even though you have a right to hang out with whomever you like.
Anyways talk with friend A to clear it up when you have the chance?
Yeah…your friend has every right to be pissed. A similar thing happened to me. A friend cancelled on me and then proceeded to post photos on socials of her and a guy out for lunch. She claimed it wasn’t why she cancelled and it was a last minute thing, but either way she was suddenly fine to go out with him but I seemingly wasn’t worth the effort. Your friend probably feels pretty similarly that you don’t feel they’re worth hanging out with.
YTA – you didnt cancel “in advance”… you cancelled last minute and decided to hang out with someone else… you did as hes perceived, I would give you space too
100% YTA, I guess you’re guys but who just says “hangout cancelled,” that’s rude by itself. Then get seen out with someone else, I’d act weird to you too, obviously you don’t care enough about his friendship to even explain yourself.
YTA. I know you didn’t plan this, but cancelling on someone and then saying yes to someone later on is an asshole move, in my opinion.
YTA. It looks like “yeah, I got time, just not for YOU”. I would’ve been pissed in the friend’s place too.
YTA, that’s bad manners. If there was something keeping you from going to the original hangout, that would have kept you from the second hangout too. Even if things changed, it’s just bad optics, like calling in sick to work and then waltzing in as a customer.
If you are straight, it looks like you ditched him for a date.
Wow. Yta for just sounding like you think you deserve a medal for texting a last minute “hangout cancelled” that same evening rather than ghosting.
So you cancelled and then “a bit later” you went out with someone else ! That is not cancelled in advance that is the literal definition of last minute cancellation. YTA