I (27M) was late for work but as usual had to stop by and bring my work mates some soda. On my way in a Roma beggar in front asked me for some change, i said i dont have any and went in. I bought 2 large bottles of Coke, 5 euros. I had 20s, 50s and a hundred euro bill in my wallet, but i had some change in my pocket. 6 euros and 50 cents. Gave the cashier 5 euro in coins and took off. Just as i stepped outside, the same guy started yelling at me how he saw me pay with change and put the rest back in my pocket. I was in no mood for sugarcoating it so i said: "yeah, so what? Go find a job and be useful to society you *slur*!". He just stopped talking and looked at the ground. He was much smaller than me so i don’t think he was up for a brawl or a confrontation. I left believing i gave him a valuable lesson, since he was a prime age adult (25 or so years) with no evident condition that would prevent him from working. When i told my sister, she judged me and told me im a racist. Even so, I believe i did the right thing, albeit harshly
Edit: seeing the comments here made me realize that even though i was not obligated to give him money, my reaction was horrible and I should be judged for it. This guy hangs around that same store everyday almost. Next time when i go there, what should i do? I really want to apologize. Should i gove him money plus a verbal apology? He can be mad as is his right, but i just want to remedy the situation as much as possible. Tips would be appreciated
YTA for calling him a slur – NTA for not giving him money, your money your choice.
YTA once you called them a slur you crossed bounds. Hope karma comes for jerks like you.
YTA – for being racist….
Yta.
Its not the money.
Its the slur. Its the way you think you need to give him a harsh lesson to inspire him to get a job. … how you figure?
All you priced to the guy is that you wouldn’t give charity to him nor because you didn’t have it or didn’t want to but didn’t simply because you dislike his assumed ethnic background.
YTA. You literally said you used a slur. Based on your sister’s reaction, it was a racist slur.
You should have called the cops because the person in question began harassing you as you left the shop, which isn’t acceptable and they might escalate to violence without warning if they happen to have a mental issue. Calling the police in circumstances like this at least has a chance in resulting in the person getting some professional help.
But shouting slurs at someone less fortunate than you is still not acceptable behavior either.
Seems fairly obvious that if you can’t/won’t repeat what you said here, YTA for saying it. Good job though, now the guy begging on the street knows that people look down on him for his status and race, certainly a vital lesson he surely never learned before you so helpfully taught him.
YTA – Once you called them a slur, that crossed a line. It’s okay if you don’t want to give them money; that’s your choice, but to be openly discriminatory to someone is too far.
YTA for obvious rage-bait.
YTA. It’s okay to not give them money, but you have no idea why that person landed on the street. There are a lot of people in the US who work full time jobs and still have to live in their car or a tent. To throw a slur on top is terrible.
YTA. I’m surprised you wrote your story down, probably proofread it for clarity, and still thought that you weren’t an asshole in this situation. This can’t be real.
YTA – you called someone a slur (by your own admission) which alone makes you the asshole. The fact you lost your shit at someone because they caught you in a lie only compounds the fact.
>I left believing i gave him a valuable lesson
What lesson is that exactly? Might makes right? People higher up the socioeconomic ladder are your betters and you shouldn’t call them out for lying? That people in tough situations deserve to be treated poorly?
You totally came here to get validation, and I’m counting the minutes until you delete this post in shame
You think you gave him a valuable lesson? That’s like screaming at a fat person to lose weight and imagining you did him a favor, like he’s never thought of this before. You think no one else ever yelled at him? You intentionally hurt and intimidated someone in a much weaker social position. It’s called punching down. And you have no idea what his situation is. Surely this isn’t the first time you’ve acted this way. Someone needs to give you a stiff dose of the truth the way you think you gave it to the Roma: not just were YTA in this moment, but presumably YAA more broadly. Reexamine your life.
YTA
You don’t know what is up with them. You don’t know if they are sick, why they are homeless, why they are not working.
Do you think they like being a beggar? Do you think they wouldn’t prefer it to actually have a stable job? Do you really think your harsh words are the wake up call they needed?
Seriously dude, the guy has a difficult life already. It would have cost you 2-3€ to make him happy and let him have some food that day. And it would have cost you nothing to not be so judgemental and righteous and keep your mouth shut.
> i said: “yeah, so what? Go find a job and be useful to society you *slur*!”.
Excuse me???!!!!!
>When i told my sister, she judged me and told me im a racist.
Yeah, I agree with your sister.
You were being racist. YTA