Hey so I (20) share a two story house with a (32) female. She recently left her toxic 4 year relationship (YAY), but has started smoking again.
Before it was just socially now it’s daily, I don’t mind vape as it does smell or give me headaches or trigger my asthma. But she has recently started smoking inside and just opening a window. This is disturbing me because 1. I’m fasting (for Ramadan) and trying to stop vaping myself, 2. Getting headaches from the smell that’s everywhere but my bedroom and toilet because I keep the doors closed 3. I know second hand smoke is bad for your health. Would I be the asshole if I ask her stop smoking inside because she’s an adult I can’t just tell her not to smoke. I could also ask her to smoke in her room with the door open and not to air it out with the door open because the smell carries and I think that’s what she tried to do today.
NTA, its your house too.
NTA
NTA, Roommate should buy a fan and put in the window blowing out.
NTA. Also, this is definitely something you can calmly explain to her. Sometimes smokers can be a bit defensive when told, but I’m sure you can kindly work out some ground rules together. Good luck!
NTA. Blowing it out still makes the house and items in it smell.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking her not to smoke inside. Let her know that it is giving you headaches.
NTA. It’s as much your home as it is hers, and you deserve to be comfortable in your home. You should also check your lease and see what it says about smoking in the apartment.
Do you own or rent? If rent, is smoking inside allowed?
NTA. 4. its likely against your lease
NTA. it’s not uncommon to have some house rules in roommate situations. Smoking indoors is just rude anyway if you share space with nonsmokers.
NTA she is going to make your skin, hair, all of your clothes, the walls, the entire house reek of smoke. People who smoke are nose blind to it and don’t realize that everything around them is heavily stained with the smell. It is completely reasonable to ask her to stop.
ok so i lived with a smoker during ramadan once and honestly nobody gets how much worse it is when youre fasting. like your senses are already heightened from not eating and drinking all day, and then cigarette smoke hits different when your body is in that state. it literally made me nauseous in a way it never did before
but heres the thing everyone is missing – she just got out of a 4 year toxic relationship and smoking is probably her only coping mechanism right now. like yeah you have every right to ask her to smoke outside, but maybe approach it as “hey i noticed youve been smoking more lately, are you doing okay” instead of just the smoking rules conversation. she might not even realize how much its affecting you because shes probably just trying to survive right now
tbh the fact that shes 32 and moved in with a 20 year old tells me she probably had to restart her whole life after that relationship. not making excuses for her but just saying theres probably more going on here than just being inconsiderate about smoking
nta but maybe lead with empathy before you lead with house rules. she might actually appreciate someone checking on her instead of just telling her what not to do
NTA, as a smoker I would not inflict my bad habit on anyone else. I won’t smoke in my home or car if I have a non smoker present. It’s just respect, you pay, you’re entitled to a smoke free environment.
NTA. Smoking inside is disgusting