Important notes for story. I am 15m, town a is 45 mins away from my house and is where i used to live, town b is 30 minute from my house, I have 2 weekly groups plus church in Town b, and my brother 8m does all these groups with me.
Me and my mother were talking about what we are going to do for a few hours and I mentioned on how I wanted to go to Town a to hang out with my old friends, she said in response that she doesn’t want to do that due to one of my events being today and how she didnt want to drive so much. I talked about how it was upsetting that she rarely gave me rides to Town a or b to hang out with my friends and how I want to either hang out with my current friends or make friends closer by. She proceeded to mention 2 groups I tried near by, and disliked due to the people being sucky, and the neighbor that I hanged out with once ,who didn’t seem to like me. I then brought up how it’s unfair that I cant try new events because a lot of them aren’t close or conflicts with my events and how she doesnt let me miss these events and how I dont even like one of the events and how id rather miss an event every couple of weeks to try new ones. She said it would prevent them from doing their events and how im selfish for wanting to meet new people so often and said i have had opions to meet new people but didn’t. I said that I have tried to meet new people when I can and how I’ve been doing the same events for almost 3 years and all my events have the same groop of people in it. I also brought up the point that I could be dropped of to any new events and picked up after my family’s events. She said this wouldn’t work, without a reason why, and eventually the conversation devolved to her saying im ungrateful and selfish for "wanting to meet new people every week". And her saying that I meet people all the time at church (I dont due to the church not liking me because of some passed issues) and how I should be ashamed and eventually resulted in her cussing me out and saying I need to appreciate what i have.
For reference I get about 6 hours of socal time throughout the week due to me being homeschooled and the events being short. I also haven’t made a new friend around my area or town a and b in 2 years. So reddit AITA for wanting more of a socal life? (Ill answer any extra questions in the thread if needed)
Of course NTA it’s a good thing you want to build more connections and different things to do
NTA. But it sounds like you live in a less dense area. Look into public transit options. Maybe she would be okay with a church or academic group, if she is so concerned about the people?
I definitely do lol and smart idea ill see what I can do with that information. Thank you!
NAH It’s understandable that you want a fulfilling social life but you also can’t dictate how your mom spends her time. Yes it would be nice if she drove you but you don’t seem to appreciate the time and effort it would take. You seem to expect it. That’s counterproductive.
You will be sixteen on your next birthday and will be able to get a drivers license and then hopefully you will be able to drive yourself. Do you have a job so you can save up for a car? You have options here and can change your own destiny but you’re probably going to have to put in some effort for it instead of just expecting her to do it for you.
Being a teen is hard, you don’t have a lot of control over your own life and you don’t get to choose your parents. You’re at the end of it though. You will have the chance of more freedom with a drivers license after that will be an adult in a few years and able to move out if you want to and make your own choices. It sounds far away but it’s going to go faster than it feels like. Do what you can to create your own happiness in your life now and good luck!!
Thank you for this take. Tbh I did feel a bit rude about how I was so expectant of her. Also working to get a job for a car so hopefully ill be able to drive myself soon thank you!
NTA. Socializing when homeschooled is extra important.
You’re old enough to ask her for a serious conversation. Say, “Mom, I have a problem. Can you help me figure out a solution?”
Then listen to her reasons with respect – don’t dismiss ‘driving takes time’ or ‘you’ll miss events’, and try for compromises that take her concerns into account.
Possibilities to think about:
Can you go to public school?
Could you spend a weekend once a month or so at a friend’s place in city A? That way she can plan, and the driving would be easier.
Can you start getting your driver’s license?
Can you get a part-time job in the next year and save up for your own car? Drop an event or two for the job?
It’s reasonable to want this, and while you’re old enough to have respectful conversations, you’re young enough not to have a lot of practice with them. Focus on “I would like to work with you on finding a solution to my problem”, and that will help.
Good luck.
This really helps thank you. Ill take what you said in account for future conversations and plans.
Like I said, good luck. Your mom’s trying to balance school, socializing for you and your brother, and her own life. It’s a challenge.
Is a bicycle a possible option? Seems like your transportation method is really limiting you
Sadly no due to the emptiness of the area and it being a bit shadey but thank you though!
not the A. of course you want more. Sadly we have to play the cards we’ve been dealt. I’m impressed that you want more real interaction with people instead of relying on social media. Be patient and you’ll find your way.
Yeah sadly but ill make do. Also lol yeah I used to like socal media a lot but I’ve distanced my self from it. And thank you!
when I was 12-15 years old i lived in a place called Stewart BC , we were on the border with Hyder, Alaska. No social media and only snail mail. I turned out OK. Honestly you’ll be a better person because of this. 🙂