I (17M) have an old laptop that I used a lot during the pandemic for school and gaming. It’s not great, but it still works fine for basic stuff. I recently built a better setup using a PC I saved up for, so the laptop mostly sits in my room unless I need it for something quick.
Last week my aunt came over with my cousin (13M). At some point my aunt saw the laptop on my desk and asked if I still use it. I told her not really, but I still keep it because I sometimes need it when my PC is busy or if I go somewhere.
She immediately started saying how my cousin needs a laptop for school and how they can’t afford one right now. Then she asked if I could just give mine to him since I “don’t really use it anyway.” I said I’d think about it, but honestly I wasn’t planning to give it away because it’s still mine and I might need it.
Later that night she texted my mom saying I was being selfish and that I should learn to share because family helps family. My mom didn’t force me to give it away but did say it would be “a nice thing to do.”
The thing is, I paid for most of my setup myself by saving for a long time, and I don’t like the idea of someone deciding what I should do with my stuff just because they want it. At the same time, I do feel a bit guilty because my cousin probably could use it for school.
Now my aunt is acting cold toward me and my cousin messaged me asking if I really won’t give it to him. AITA???
NTA, you decide how to use your stuff, but it does sound like you only have this opinion because of her reaction
NTA. It’s yours and you still use it. You use it for its purpose to be able to work while on the go. Doesn’t matter if you have a pc you can’t pick that up and take it to a coffee shop to work if you wanted to.
Maybe the cousins school has loner laptops he can check out. I’m pretty sure most schools have them now
NTA. It’s yours to do with what you wish. Your aunt is also out of line for discussing this with your cousin around and then using him to try and guilt you into doing something.
Good God, who actually says “family helps family” besides not very smart computer programs?
haven’t i read this before? or do that many aunts demand free computers from their nephew for their 12-13 year-old son?
Coin flip on bot post or half the world having a shitty aunt.
i mean, i DO have a shitty aunt. but the fact that it’s demanding a free computer for their middle-school aged son… i think the last time though the aunt was demanding the NEW computer & tried going through the poster’s mom?
Count yourself lucky. A cold, distant aunt is less likely to try to guilt you into giving her things you earned. No contact would be ideal, but distant is a partial win.
Your aunt sounds like someone who was always felt like everyone else owes her. She’s likely done the same to your mom her whole life.
NTA
If he NEEDS one for school, then the school will provide one. If I remember correctly, most middle schools don’t even allow personal electronics for school work.
Sounds like her kid wants one and she just can’t afford it which sucks but oh well.
His school wont be able to support an outdated device, they will have minimum requirements for BYO school laptops that your device might struggle to meet. The school will have a few suitable devices on hand for people that need help acquiring hardware. They are asking the wrong people for assistance.
While you’re not wrong about asking the wrong people for assistance, nothing in the post suggests that the device is so outdated that it wouldn’t meet the school’s minimum requirements.
Op states the laptop is “old” but it was mostly used during the pandemic for school & gaming. Old is relative with technology. I have an old laptop that is from 2015 and still runs perfectly fine… though I have long since flashed it with Linux, rather than keeping the old windows 10 install, because it was starting to slow down. I’ve also upgraded the ram to it’s maximum capacity, and the hdd to a solid state to prolong it’s life as long as possible. I’ve read about people similarly continuing to use much older laptops successfully on lighter linux distributions.
Most schools use Chromebooks, which are glorified browsers. As long as the thing runs the latest version of Chrome/Firefox, it would likely be fine.
None of that is the point though. Op literally says in the post that when asked if he still uses it he started his answer with “not really”, but then followed up with “occasionally” as a backup or a portable solution. — Op still uses the laptop. Maybe not regularly, but it’s not like it’s totally wasting away on his desk.
But even if he wasn’t, OP is fully within his rights to refuse to share the laptop. Tech is expensive, and it’s even more expensive now that the price of RAM has skyrocketed along with GPU’s. It’s 100% fair for OP to refuse to gift the laptop to his cousin.
NTA: this post is identical to like half the posts here. “AITA if I don’t share X with Y, even though they’re ‘family'” — nope… not at all… Don’t need an excuse, and no is a full sentence.
NTA.
Your aunt does not get to decide when and if you should give your belongings away.
Plus, your aunt’s audacity:
Asking for it was okay (as long as “no” is an accepted answer);
Involving your mum was out of line;
Announcing it to your cousin to get him to text you was just low game.
I have a PC and a Laptop. I’ve used my Laptop maybe twice in 6 months. If someone just asked me to give it to them to be nice I’d laugh and say no. Just because im not using it constantly don’t mean I don’t have a need on occasion.
NTA, but your Aunt is. Shes also gaslighting her son making you the villain in the story.
I would simply reply to your cousin. “I told auntie I still use it and I can’t give it away. Im sorry I can’t help you. I just need it for my stuff.”
You said too much. Your reply should have been yes when they asked if you still use it.
Not alie from the detail in post.