I’m a 45 male. about 10 years ago we moved to where we are now and have always been perfectly friendly with our neighbours.
Their daughter (we’ll call her Esme) was about 15 or 16 when we moved in so I’ve never really spoke to her beyond being cordial and smiling if I see her in the street.
Today we were all chatting in the front gardens and we discovered that me and Esme will both be running our local half marathon next weekend. We also discovered we’ll be aiming for pretty similar times.
She’s suggested that we travel to the start line together and then run the race together. I’ve politely declined because, I really don’t know her and don’t know what we’d talk about for an hours travel and 2 hours running and also because, my running is my me time, I put my headphones on, crank up the tunes and just run.
I’m also wary that if we run together then one of us may hold the other up and I wouldn’t want to do that to her and would also be a bit frustrated if she did it to me.
Since I said no, they all seem a bit off with me, they haven’t called me rude but just seem a bit less friendly.
So AITA for wanting to travel to and run this half marathon solo?
NTA. You didn’t do anything wrong. But if you want to seem friendly (in case they took your response as being unfriendly) then you can offer a friendly gesture (like offering them a refreshment or sweet, or greeting them with a big warm smile). They don’t really know you so it’s easy for them to misunderstand and assume you’re an asshole.
When I ran road races in my 20s, I did so with a group of friends. We arrived together and socialized afterwards. But we never actually ran together. I’m with you. I’m running on my own. My pace. My music. I’ll meet everyone later
Their reaction is weird and presumptuous
Nta but maybe a little tone deaf. She might have wanted someone to help her feel safe, which imho is an ok thing for younger people to ask older people they know for. Dunno
NAH. You rejected attending an event with her. She’s entitled to be a bit salty at first. If it goes passed the marathon, she’s an immature girl who doesn’t take rejection well.
Either way, I think you’re morally in the clear.
NTA. Just run 2km and almost died
I only run if something is chasing me… and then only until I find a suitable rock….
NTA and everyone that says you are is missing that you are a 45m opting out of doing this with a 25F you’ve known since she was a literal child. Good for you.
Nta. If she isn’t completely comfortable running alone thats a her problem not you.
NTA
For all we knew it was a safety issue, but it could also just as easily be maybe she wants someone else to drive her an hour to and likely from the event and company.
It would have been a lot easier if she had told him it was because of safety and likely OP would have tried to compromise. But as he said, they don’t really know each other. Even after the last 10 years they’ve kind of been coasting on smile and waving at each other.
Jumping from sup’ing at each other from their driveway to a big endurance event, is a leap
NTA. I don’t like people that insinuate themselves into a situation.
Editing my previous response because I thought she was still a teenager.
NTA. It’s up to you if you want to be solo. Don’t let them make you feel bad.
NTA.
You don’t know her above friendly neighbour chat. You don’t owe her anything. Also, you don’t want to put yourself in a position to be accused of anything improper with her if you were alone together. You never know where people’s minds can go.
If they still seem aloof in the coming weeks, just say it’s nothing personal, just keeping your neighbour boundaries and your running as your “me” time.
NTA, at all. Even if we put aside the headphones and me space, I doubt you’d run at the same pace.
NAH “they seem a bit off” I’m more inclined to think that nothing has changed. Some people are so self conscious or concerned about what others think, they think others are thinking about them a whole lot more than they actually are.