I (28 F) have been going to the same karaoke bar for about 7 years, almost every karaoke night and sometimes weekends. Most of my friends actually weren’t regulars there until they met me, and I introduced many of them to karaoke night.
a couple months ago, a woman (C) approached me at the bar and asked for my social media. After that she msged me constantly for several days even though I barely replied.
A few days later I was at the bar again with my boyfriend and roommate. my boyfriend had 1 drink, and we shared the rest of a drink I had set down earlier (stupid ik). Within about 10 minutes I passed out for several minutes, and my boyfriend passed out and started vomiting. The next day we went to the hospital and doctors confirmed fentanyl in both of our systems. We reported the incident to the police.
While I was unconscious, multiple people later told me C was telling others that I was “on molly,” that she knew me well, and that she would take care of me. She claimed she was a nurse and tried to separate me from my roommate who was helping me. When my boyfriend asked her to call 911, she didn’t. Someone called and paramedics arrived. I want to be clear that I cannot prove who drugged us, but this person was present that night and behaved very strangely during the situation. After that night she never messaged me again, despite messaging constantly before, so I blocked her.
Over the next couple months I occasionally saw her at the bar staring at me or lingering nearby, which made me uncomfortable. Recently during karaoke she suddenly approached me and complimented my coat like nothing had happened.
Later I calmly asked her to please leave me alone. She claimed she didn’t know me and that we had “never met before,” even though she used my name and had previously messaged me constantly. I walked away upset but didn’t start anything. When I went back inside to get my boyfriend so we could leave, security told me I had to leave and that I was banned.
A bartender also told me the police reviewed footage and that I “wasn’t drugged,” which shocked me since Police told me they couldn’t prove what happened because they didn’t have the full footage. I also learned the bar didn’t provide all of the footage, though I don’t know if that was their decision or what police requested. The bar has also told me not to talk about what happened because “the last person who said they were drugged here and couldn’t prove it they sued.”
Now the issue is my friend group
.Karaoke night used to be our weekly thing. One friend who still goes used to say karaoke wasn’t about the bar, it was just a place for us to connect as friends.
Since I was banned, we found another karaoke spot, and some friends come there with me. But 3 of them still go to the og bar on karaoke nights.
I know I can’t control where people go, But it hurts seeing people still go to the place that was ours and I’m now banned.
So AITA wishing my friends wouldn’t keep going there?
NTA. I don’t know why your friends would patronize a bar where their friend had possibly been drugged and certainly was harassed.
NTA- however for me it’s less that your friends are going to a bar you were banned from, but that they’re continuing to patron a bar that is openly denying that you were drugged, and threatened to sue you if you brought it up.
I would be spreading it everywhere personally
Yeah even if that happened to someone I hated, it would make me rethink my safety going there
i was ready to say you’re the asshole based on the title but your friends should not be going to that bar if they have even a shred of a moral compass. why they would want to support that is beyond me. i’d say NTA based on that alone. where were they when you needed them???
NTA but you have better things to worry about than where your friends are going, you need to get that entire footage wtf
NTA, if your other friends wanna risk getting drugged at a bar that has apparently had this happen before?? then that’s on them. If this happened to a friend of mine I’d stay the fuck away from there.
I wouldn’t go that bar even if my friend wasn’t banned. If they’ve had problems with police reports, that makes it sound like a lot of people are getting drugged there.
Seems like its time to give the bar a second lawsuit. Something is way off about this story
NTA
How could bar footage prove you were or were not drugged? Someone drugging a drink is often done subtly, even in front of someone.
I HIGHLY suspect the police reviewed anything and said anything. Have you talked to the police about the police report? Has it been updated to show that they reviewed footage and closed the case?
I know this isn’t the point, but it’s such a weird thing for them to say. I suspect that they know you were drugged and are worried you will hold them liable.
Getting drugged is such a scary thing to happen. I really judge your friends for still going there. I would question their judgement and loyalty to you. But I don’t know if I’d say anything though
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NTA, any normal caring friend wouldn’t go to a place you were literally drugged at
NTA it sounds like the bar is in on the drugging thing. It could be a hotspot for human trafficking. Very sketchy that they didn’t make the effort to save the entire footage of that night before it auto deleted, especially because they were probably made aware before then.
You stopped going because you were banned and not because you were drugged and the person you think did it still goes there?
And it took a couple months after that incident for the bar to randomly ban OP?