I’ve been lifting at my gym for 10 years, with the first five years being pretty serious/competitive, and the last 5 being a little more relaxed after an injury. My gym partner joined 5 years ago. She’s older than me and doesn’t have the same level of skill, but I’ve spent some time coaching her, and we’ve been lifting partners. She takes her training looser (she’ll just stop when she wants to, skips exercises, and sometimes not follow the program).
We got a new coach (former professional, so he’s pretty serious), and he’s expressed that he really wants to work with me because of my skill level. He is super knowledgeable, and he spent last Friday working with me for a session, and then worked with my friend for a bit after, too, but not as closely.
On Monday, the new coach worked with me again for another session, and again spent a little less time with her. When he was coaching her, she was dancing instead of lifting, and moving on whenever she wanted to.
At the next training session on Wednesday, the coach was circulating more and helping other athletes. When my friend came in to lift, she put her headphones in, and any time the coach tried to say anything to her or help her, she claimed couldn’t hear. Then she left without saying anything to me.
There was an obvious vibe shift, and when I asked the gym owner if he saw it, he told me he talked with the coach about circulating the gym more to help more people, which I get and totally agree with.
Yesterday, Friday, when I came in, the coach was working closely with someone else, so I got settled in and did my own thing until he came over to give me my workout. He was going back and forth between coaching the two of us. Then my friend came in and went to hang out the coach and the other athlete, not saying anything to me. I overheard her say she was going to quit.
Later, she walked by me and the coach, I heard her tell the coach, “you better work with everyone today and not just one person” in an aggressive tone. Then she put her headphones in again to start lifting, but would go talk to the other group between lifts when the coach was with them.
After she got done talking with them, she came back to me and told me she’s trying to set up the coach and other athlete. I said okay.
Then, when the coach was helping me during my session, I would hear her say, “I’m going to leave”, “I’m so done with this”, which was weird to me because she seemed to have no problem when he coached someone else.
Anyways, when she lifted and he wasn’t around, I tried to give her some tips on what to do, but for the rest of the session I kept everything on the shorter side because it was started to get to be too much drama for me.
TL;DR we got a new coach at the gym who has been helping me out. I fully recognize I’m not going to the Olympics, but I like being coached by him. I think my friend is acting out and being immature, but it’s also making me question is I’m being an as\*hole.
NTA – sounds like your friend is being petty and silly and didn’t want the help from the coach in the first place.
NTA if she isn’t taking the workout serious a coach won’t take you serious.
Is your friend secretly in love with you because this is throwing off some major jealousy vibes.