I need people guidance, we have been together for 6 year for now on, but from the beggining of this year we start a complicated situation, she started working, a thesis and continue studying, and i mostly the same, we both knew that it would required effort from both of us and to understand that there would be times when we would not be able to see each other or even chat, we were surviving by having dates on the weekends, but from 2 months ago the distance was starting to feel even on person, she was starting to be on her on world and not been too caring of what was happening.
Two weeks ago we talk about things, prepare ourselfs and today we finally say our thoughts, she is my first couple and same for her, she start talking about how from a time ago she started feeling repressed because of the feeling of not having other experiences with other people we talk for a long time because most things that she was saying didnt fell right, as if the reasons she was telling wasnt the true reason behind all these. As we continue i find out that that feeling of repression was not only for not having other experiences but also that she is feeling sexually repressed to me because i dont turn her on any more, but at the same time she also says that she wants to continue having sex, because is a different type of sex, she describes that with me is more like a romantic intimacy that still feel good but theres no more spark or exitation behind, in the end the two solutions that she propose was to break up and see in some months how we feel, or to have an open relationship. Right now i feel trapped on what to do because she means the world to me and is perfect in many ways, I do belive her when she says that she loves me, but i feel that any option that i choose i am the one that will lose the most, part of me wants to hold to the memory of her, also because I feel sexually repressed by the lack of encounters right now, but even thought the answer seems obvious it seem impossible for me to just let her go
Am i Crazy?
NTA, but dude, you’ve got to let her go. Just break up and be done with it.
No you are not crazy. You are not trapped either. You have options. She has given you her two options, neither of which you like and the feeling of being trapped comes from not wanting to choose either option. Your preferred option is clearly to stay together as you were.
You cannot hold onto someone who is already leaving you. She is doing it slowly; maybe using you as a safety net or because she somehow thinks its kinder this way! It isn’t!
It sounds like your thinking is that you would prefer to hold onto her for the sex because there isn’t any available elsewhere at the moment. Not a good look either!
The relationship you had is over. Unless you want to stand by and approve of her having sex with others, I would let her go and begin building a new life for yourself.
NTA.
NTA.
I say this with love: treat yourself better.