WIBTA, for not adding my ex-husband on our daughter’s birthday certificate. I never took him to court for anything other then to get our divorce. After finding out that he has be cheating on me during our marriage and before. So my Ex and I had been divorced for 4 years and just resent my lawyer said he wants to take me back to court to be added on her birth certificate, I said no because he hasn’t been in her life since we separated and never once tried to get in touch with me to see her or talk to her. AITA
Your child deserves a relationship with both her parents.
Get a paternity test and do right by *her.*
YTA
That’s not always true. Sometimes kids need to be protected from their parents.
If their only dispute was him being unfaithful and there isn’t a nefarious reason he has been absent from the child’s life for four years, then this may be true but there is nowhere near enough information to go on in this post.
YANTA – Why all of a sudden?
What does he really want. The first step is for him to act like a father.
YTA. You don’t get to choose whether or not he’s the bio father. Paternity has nothing to do with him cheating on you.
ETA if you’re in the US, your husband is assumed to be the father.
Let him do it and put him on child support for back pay. He’ll realize his mistakes then. NTA
Funnily enough, 1. Depending on where you live, he’s the ASSUMED father whether hes on the BC or not. 2. If he wants to be listed, and you deny it, he can still go around and get it court ordered. 🤷♀️
That being said, YTA.
You can either fight this in court and lose, or save your time, energy, and money and just do it. For your and your child’s sake, I’d take the second road.
YTA You dont get to decide this.
I also don’t understand the timing. We’re you married when you gave birth? If so he is the father in most places and can petition the court fairly easily to be added. If you divorced before she was born, did you lie to the court about pregnancy?
He’s her dad whether you like it or not. She deserves a relationship with her father and many flavors of support from both parents (emotionally, financially, spiritually etc.).
Being a shitty husband doesn’t preclude him from being a dad.
He is a shitty dad. The choice he chose to not see the kid. Regardless of if he’s on the birth certificate doesn’t mean anything he can still be a dad but chooses not to.
YTA. Nothing on that record asks if he is a good person, good partner, or good father.
The record is who biologically contributed to the existence of that child, or in the case of adoption takes the legal responsibility for that child’s existence.
It changes nothing for you if he is on the record, and it only hurts the child.
NTA
He had zero interest in being a father or paying child support. Why now? Who is he trying to impress? Is he trying to get custody because his current partner can’t have children. Let him take you to court and pay back child support. Make sure that you have all of the proof and paperwork to support your case that he is a lying dead beat.
I mean you can’t exactly say no if he wants to take you back to court.
This is really the only response. It’s got nothing to do with TA. It’s just facts that he’s going to be added if he goes to court.
Not sure of your legal situation, but I’d strongly encourage you to document all this then go to court for child support because if he wants so much to be on the BC, then clearly he wants to do well by her.