I (F29) have a friendly golden retriever, Jamila. She loves everyone. My neighbor, Mr. D (M50ish) adores her and gives her treats whenever he sees her outside. At first, it was a cute and wholesome gesture. But recently Jamila started having stomach issues, and the vet told me she likely ate something too rich for her. I politely told MR. D that Jamila has a sensitive stomach and asked him to stop giving her treads…. I even brought him some vet-approved dog snacks just in case he really wanted to keep spoiling her.
The next day, Jamila had a full-blown allergic reaction… turns out he gave her part of his leftover lasagna because "she looked hungry." I had to take him to E.R Vet, which is expensive and stressful…
So I went back and still politely asked him AGAIN to please stop feeding her anything at all. He got upset and said "I was over dramatic and taking away the joy of his day." Now another neighbor is saying I was too harsh and should’ve let him feel included because he is lonely. I don’t want to be mean and I like him.. nut I also need to protect my dog.
If he wants to feel included, he can pay the vet bill. NTA.
Right? Like, I’m being kind, but Jamila’s safety isn’t optional. If someone really wants to be part of her life, at least listen to the basics or help cover the consequences. I’m not trying to be mean… just trying to keep my dog alive because she means a lot to me.
You need to spell it out to him. That his actions can kill your dog. There are so many pet owners killing their pets with human food / they begged for it / I just can’t say no – excuses. Pets that are overweight and struggling because owners won’t control themselves.
If you can, try training your dog to only eat at command. It’s hard and not all breeds will easily take to it, but it does keep them safer.
NTA. You were perfectly reasonable, and honestly kinder than I would have been after the lasagna incident. If he won’t listen and stop feeding your dog, demand he pay for the emergency vet visit (and take him to small claims court if he refuses). He was told not to feed your dog, and was warned that he was harming your dog, and if he won’t stop because you tell him to, maybe he’ll stop when his behavior has a direct impact on him. He is absolutely liable for the financial impact of his actions, and it’s very generous that you haven’t gone after him for it. When people abuse your generosity, you stop being generous.
As for the neighbor…tell that neighbor that in addition to making your pet ill and endangering her life, he has cost you whatever you’ve paid so far in vet bills to take care of this problem he keeps creating. Your dog deserves to not be getting sick, and you deserve to not be hit with unnecessary vet bills.
Thank you 🥰🥰 I tried tto handle it the calm way… multiple warnings, explanations, everything. I didn’t want it to ever reach the point of vet visits, but his choices kind of forced it there. My Jamila’s health has to come first, and watching her get sick because someone keeps ignoring me is awful.
I’m hoping he get’s it now. There has to be accountability at some point… I just want my dog to stay healthy, safe, and for this situation to stop escalating.
Exactly!! Wanting to be included is fine, but responsibility comes first. Pets aren’t TOYS!!! they’re living beings that rely on us. If someone ignores safety instructions and causes harm, it’s only fair that they help fix the damage. You made the right call protecting your dog. NTA
You need to stop letting your dog be outside without supervision. Keep watch over her constantly, unfortunately. And limit contact with the neighbor as he’s spinning the story to be about him. Actions have consequences, and he’s no longer allowed to be friends with your dog. NTA
Yeah, I’ve already started supervising every time he’s outside now. I hate that it has to be this way, but I’d rather be extra careful than risk my dog getting sick again. Agreed my dog’s safety comes first.
Did you tell this neighbors your dog became so ill you had to take him to the emergency vet? Make it clear the dog was really sick and it cost you a fortune. If the offending neighbor STILL says it’s more important for him to be able to feed YOUR dog whatever he wants without your permission, he’s not quite the great guy you think he is. I used to have a neighbor who was pretty mental and she was like that. My dog got out once and she took him into her house immediately. She heard me looking all over and calling him, and still didn’t tell me for well over an hour. She let me into her house, where she was fishing pieces of kielbasa out of a big bowl of sauerkraut and feeding it to Sputnik. I told her he couldn’t have that, and she said he’d been eating it for an hour! I rushed him out of there, but he only had terrible gas through that night; no vet visit required. Anyway, I sympathize, and I’m glad you’re going to supervise the dog.
Why is your dog outside without you? It could be eating garbage or rat poison for all you know.
YOU ARE NOT THE AH you are just protecting you animal and you pocketbook!
We had a new set of dogs move in next door. I greeted them and petted them at the fence. The owner came out and we met and I let her know right then that I like to pet the dogs, but I DO NOT give treats!
NTA, but geez, keep better track of your dog. How did the neighbour even get the opportunity to feed him lasagna? Keep your dog inside or in your yard and be more responsible.
This this post was here a couple of days ago with just slightly different details.
Edit: Here’s the original post https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1pattvj/aita_for_asking_my_neighbor_to_stop_leaving/
give him the vet bill. he caused it and tell the neighbor to mind their own business unless they want to help him pay the bill.