It’s my first year of university and I’m living in a co-ed dorm with five other people. We decided pretty early on that we’d split the chores, or actually, one of my roommates who’s friends with two of them just sent a picture of a sticky note of the roles we were to have. There wasn’t any real choice in the matter, but no one really complained so that was that. However, the two who ended up with the role of "dishes" were her friends, and pretty early on the three of them essentially said, "we aren’t putting dishes into the dishwasher. Not our job." At first I was annoyed by this, and I voiced the fact that I felt like they had the easiest job and wanted it to be easier but nothing happened. All they do is turn the dishwasher on, and take the dishes out. They don’t clean the dishes nor do they make sure that they’re clean before putting them in the cabinets. On a regular basis I find filthy dishes that were put away.
Meanwhile, two of my roommates clean the entire apartment every month, not including our rooms, and it’s a sizable apartment. They scrub, mop, vacuum, the full works. And the girl who decided our roles randomly and I have to take out the trash and recycling (I think I pulled the short straw because I either have to buy recyclable bags, take both our recycling bins at once, or do two trips, but I honestly prefer that to taking down bags of filth), and we live at the end of the hall on the tenth floor. Unfortunately, our building’s elevator only goes up to the ninth, so we have to walk across a hall, down a flight of stairs to the elevator, and to the dump outside our buildings. In rare cases when our janky fire alarms go off, I’ve had to walk the full ten stories. But the point is that the dish "runners" (they told me not to call them dishwashers, since it’s not their job to wash the dishes) have the easiest job of all of us by a large margin, in my opinion.
Cut to now, after winter break I came back and genuinely forgot about the rule that the dish "runners" don’t put dishes into the dishwasher. One of my roommates who just doesn’t seem to like me (just seems to have some gripe with me as of recent) sent a message to the group chat about dishes I left in the sink and I remembered the rule, thought about how dumb it was, and decided to bring the issue up with them. I asked them, well, there were four of them in the room, the dish "runners", their friend, and the one who doesn’t like me, if they could just take the dishes from the sink into the dishwasher. I explained that if the dish washer is free I just put my dishes into it, but if it’s full or running, I can’t and just leave it in the sink. They told me no, that they wouldn’t, and that I should hand wash any dishes I used. The one who complained originally asked me, "you clean up messes even though my role is cleaning, why shouldn’t you do the same for them?" I thought it was a rather weak point, but I just decided I’m just done, I’m not gonna argue with them. But AITA?
Tbh I think touching other people’s used dishes is gross, and if they have to fill it constantly then it becomes a constant job rather than a once every few days job. That’s an aspect you’ve not taken into account.
However if the dishwasher is running then I think it’s fair to leave them neatly in or near the sink, perhaps rinsed.
The obvious answer is to rotate who does chores each week or month or so, and decide between you what each chore involves.
I guess, personally, coming from a background where I cooked and cleaned and even did a bit of work in kitchens, I never have had a problem cleaning dishes, so maybe I’m just numbed to that aspect of it. But, at the same time, I don’t drink, and I think alcohol is disgusting, but they drink heavily and I still have to take their bottles to the recycling. And we all put our dishes into the dishwasher when we can, and they run it once or twice a week, so it should only be once or twice a week that we can’t put it in the dishwasher. But, like I said, maybe I just care differently about it, one of them did float the idea of switching jobs around, so I think I’ll talk to her about it further.
The cleaning responsibilities should rotate. If the “dish runners” (seriously? It takes TWO people to run and unload the dishwasher?) protest, tell them you refuse to be assigned a job you had no say in and the jobs rotate OR its everyone for themselves.
They sound like shit roommates
I actually never really thought about that. One of my roommates said something about switching up roles so I will talk to her about that.
I mean you agreed to it when you could have used your adult words instead of being complacent.
Do your own dishes. Seriously. Throwing dirty dishes and pots and pans in the sink and leaving them for somebody else to do is ridiculous.
Do you expect your roommates to do your laundry too?
Well my main point is that we have chores that we’ve been given. But also, they don’t do the dishes. That’s a whole thing. The only turn the dishwasher on and put the dishes away regardless of their cleanliness. I’m wasn’t even asking them to change, I was just asking them to put the dishes left in the sink because the dishwasher was running, into the dishwasher when they’ve eventually emptied it.
I really think it should be up to the person who uses the dish to rinse it off and put it in the dishwasher. If you leave it for somebody else, it could sit in the sink for hours or overnight and then you’re in the situation where your dishwasher can’t handle what’s on the dishes.
Chores should rotate. If the dishwasher turns out to be a simple chore, then great… It could be your chore the next rotation.
You, as well as the other people suggesting a rotation are probably right, so I’ve contacted them about switching roles. Also, I get your point about food getting caked on, so I’d try to soak my dishes that were particularly dirty. Our dishwasher does suck as well, I just kind of wish they wouldn’t put dishes with half a piece of broccoli stuck to it into the cabinets.