So, I know that my friend likes sending voice and video messages in telegram. She mostly sends video ones, just showing her face and saying something (would make more sense to use a voice message, bruh, I know what you look like, I see you nearly everyday). I understand that sometimes it might be inconvenient to type, or she might want to show something, and video message suits best in this case, and I do use them sometimes too.
The thing is, sometimes she is just too lazy even to type a couple of words and sends me a freaking video circle of literally 2 seconds duration. And she knows that I hate it. She also knows that I hate receiving messages that require extra actions to acknowledge – either pressing play button or transcribe one – while I’m busy. Transcription are not really accurate sometimes, and she knows it too. I have told her not to abuse and overuse this stuff multiple times – no fucks given as I see.
The most interesting part is that when I do the same (a little bit extrapolated to make her understand, though), she stars arguing with me, accusing me of doing stuff she doesn’t like (lol who says). Today she sent me a bunch of totally non-urgent video messages while I was cleaning my laptop’s cooling system, all around 10 seconds of slow talk, which I would read in 5-ish seconds instead of 30, if it was text, and I deliberately responded with a bunch of short ones too, splitting them by sentences. As always, she said something like "Fuck you, don’t be cocky", and I finally decided to ban all the voice and video messages from her forever (I used to ban them sometimes, but not for long, just to let her know that she went too far with them).
She says that I should have notified her that I’m busy and she wouldn’t have texted me (lol I sent you a video of my laptop taken apart). My position here is that non-text messages suck and I don’t have to sacrifice my convenience for other person’s laziness. Btw, I have never heard from her that she doesn’t like reading text messages. Sure, you can record voice or video unless you don’t abuse them. She said that she doesn’t think so and asked me why we should only care about my opinion.
So, am I really a cocky asshole, who doesn’t care about others, or is she just trying to bend me over in terms of communication?
NTA. While I like audio or video messages sometimes, they’re very inconvenient most of the time. It drives me nuts when someone sends them during a conversation during the work day. Dude, I can’t listen to this right now, I’m at work!!
But regardless of my opinion or, frankly, your friends, « she said she doesn’t think so and asked why we should only care about my opinion » because you’re the recipient, and if she wants you to interact with the information she wants to communicate, she has to do so in a way that works for you. Otherwise, you won’t interact with that info.
Is this a broader pattern in your friendship, her doing whatever she wants and disregarding your boundaries?
What’s worse is that She gets pissy when OP did the same back. OP is definitely NTA
NTA absolutely with you there. I really dislike voice messages cause I have to get a headset to listen to them.
Id never play them outloud in public. Really dislike that to which I get makes me sounds really cranky.
So if people send me voicemessages, they will either get a very slow reply or not listened to.
NTA
She is your friend so she should respect your wishes or at least try to compromise if she thinks they are too overbearing. Although I can’t imagine typing to be all too demanding.
I find people who sent audio messages are usually near illiterate.
Text messaging is the happy medium we’ve all agreed too. Most of us have our phones within arms reach, but that doesn’t me we want to talk or listen. Texts are crucial. NTA
NTA. You communicated first.
Banning those kinds of messages theoretically better than leaving a bunch of video/voice messages unopened.
Also it would use crazy data to be receiving all those if you’re away from wifi.
Hell no NTA. You told her your preferences, and **she consistently makes the conscious decision to directly ignore what you’ve told her.** If she has any issue with that she has the option to MESSAGE you about it lol.
Voice notes have their uses – we use them with our very-dyslexic friend who finds reading and writing difficult.
They’re also good fun if in a group chat when you’re discussing unimportant stuff (Friday night banter) – I’m fond of sharing Dad-jokes with pals via this method.
But, 5 minute long video notes that could have been a three sentence text note, your pal can fuck off.
NTA
NTA, I tolerate it from a friend that’s dyslexic but it generally annoys me otherwise because I’ll more often than not see it’s a voice message, not be in the right place to listen to it, and then forget about ever opening it when I am in the right place for it later
ESH – You both sound exhausting and entitled.
>that require extra actions to acknowledge
Seriously 🤦🏼♀️ one tap. You don’t owe eachother a reply, you can just respond when you have time if you are busy??
>”Fuck you, don’t be cocky”
This isn’t how friends speak to eachother.
NTA….. You’ve set a clear boundary, and her getting angry when you “return the favor” shows she knows it’s an inconvenient way to communicate. While banning features is a bit extreme, you aren’t an asshole for refusing to let her laziness dictate how you spend your time and attention.