I(18F) started to talk to one of my(18M) friends again- we hadn’t spoken in almost 6 years yet we weren’t that close as kids but our parents were. We started speaking and eventually i started dating his childhood best friend, he was really against thiS and after dating for only 4 months we broke up- this is where my question begins. The breakup was messy and my ex was really upset- my original friend was obviously upset with me but still we remained friends however the more i saw him the less he spoke to me. As a person i’m loud and extroverted whereas he isn’t and tends to be more quiet so i brushed it off, this was until he messaged my ex to tell me i need to “leave him alone” i got confused as we had always been on good terms. Time passed and we spoke
less but one time i walked up to him and my friends all followed- about 5 people
and the same evening he blocked me? I didn’t ask why but after we never spoke. Every time i saw him he acted like i wasn’t there and he completely ghosted me. My ex and i erred till in contact as we are good friends but he’d message me about his mental health but one time it got very bad so i messaged my friend about it so he can help. As we spoke he said he doesn’t know why my ex clings onto me and he thinks i ruined his friend and i caused all his current issues- i told him he’s a grown man and shouldn’t expect one girl to fix his life l. He called me a horrible friend and blocked me on that social media platform. I am wondering whether i actually am a horrible friend or whether he’s just prioritising his more close friend(my ex) over me even though me and my ex are for the lot part on good terms.
No judgement either ways, but this guy doesn’t sound like your friend. Just leave him alone.
Sounds to me like the dude needs to grow the f up. That’s some middle school garbage right there. NTA. Don’t worry about it. Forget that dude and be friends with your ex as long as it makes the 2 of you happy.
YTA. You broke his boundary of dating a friend of his. Then you proceeded to have a bad breakup after he had already told you not to date his friends. Quiet introverts tend to think more and there’s likely many instances he saw those transgressions happen and other things occur that bugged him until he finally couldnt take you anymore. You and Your Ex being on good terms doesn’t matter here, you broke a boundary he set with You and never apologized then continued breaking the boundary he set to not talk to him. Even if it was a dire situation (assumingly it was suicidal talk) cops and other means are always available when there are instances of that. Stop talking to him, stop thinking about him, he doesnt like you, and he doesnt owe it to like you after you broke his boundaries and never cares to say sorry.
Also Edit : I think your ex told your friend about the issues of your relationship which probably furthered his dislike of you, because he saw how bad you can get and how badly you hurt his friend in the breakup. I feel like we need more INFO in that instance because there’s a lot of chance for things to have built the dislike of you that happened from that breakup as well. But I dont think its necessary as YTA verdict can be taken from the parts you shared, it’d just be easier to confirm it with more.
The thing is my ex was abusing substances throughout the relationship and then i tried to get him help with therapists and other groups but he didn’t want it and he hid it from everyone. Towards the end of our relationship he ended up leaving me on delivered and ignore me in person and often only came to me about his issues and never listened to mines
Mmm okay okay, ty for the Info. So definitely was just born of previous interactions, unless your bf twisted you trying to get him help as you, pressuring him or something in an “abusive” way, but even then I dont think that would be it. Sorry that you had to deal with that, and ty for the extra context. I still see you as the jerk to said aforementioned friend though just due to the boundary breaking. I am not sure why he thinks you ruined your ex however, I feel he has been misled or is purely delusional. All around messy situation, idk, maybe cutting off both would be easier on you in the end, they just seem like a lot together.