I have a scented candle in the living room and when I blow it out I usually muffle it with a cover, and take it outside to let the smoke/soot air out before I take it back inside.
I know the smoke/soot is toxic so taking it outside to blow it out is an easy step to enjoy a (also toxic) scented candle, while still being more proactive about what I’m breathing. It makes me feel better about it at least.
I asked my husband to muffle it and take it outside to air it out. He kept asking “why?” And I explain the above. He hesitates and questions my request over and over. Eventually he opens the muffled candle container so the smoke/soot escapes into the room.
I’m freaking out now and angry at him because I specifically asked him to do it outside. He still claims “I’m not going to take a candle outside to blow it out.” It feels like he deliberately chose not to care about my feelings or concerns. AITA for overreacting and getting really angry at him?
INFO: if it’s toxic when extinguished, wouldn’t it also be toxic (if not more so) when actually burning???
This is the answer. Do you think that cherry vanilla scent is natural? You’re filling the room with chemicals then blaming him. Either carry the thing outside yourself or don’t burn it in the first place. YTA
If you don’t want smoke don’t burn candles YTA
You sound really controlling. It’s a candle not a radiation barrel. Also if you are worried about smoke and chemicals…what do you think happens when a candle is lit? YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE
YTA
YTA this is a dumb argument. Do you really think that candle is burning cleanly in your home. It’s not. If you want candles blown out a special way… do it yourself.
YTA. If you are going to be this anal about a candle, blow it out yourself or stop lighting it all together. 🙄
Yeah, YTA and waaaayy over-reacting.
YTA, unless you are huffing the smoke or lighting and extinguishing ever few minutes this is wildly irrational. Out of curiousity what do you do around gas stoves and fire places?
Seriously, the candle smoke will be out of the room in less than a few minutes.
Or
Leave the candle lid on. It’ll slowly dissipate without it affecting your breathing.
YOR. YTA.
Yup, YTA, alright! How controlling can you get? I wouldn’t take a candle outside to blow it out, either. If you’re so concerned about smoke, don’t burn candles, but leave poor hubby alone.
Ooh wow YTA if you want out then u do it or get a candle warmer if you don’t want smoke.
There are things worth arguing over, and things not. You have this little quirk that you can indulge, but it’s not reasonable to expect other people to perform your quirky rituals. And then getting angry about it, that’s YTA behavior.
Overreacting much? Sheesh, just get a diffuser in your preferred scent and don’t light the candle in the first place 🙄
YTA