To start throw away for privacy and sorry in advance for typos I need a new keyboard.
So I (21M) work as a guard for a smallish warehouse. Since I started working here I decided to start carry a wide supply things that people may need in by backpack. Things like mints, gum, ibuprofen/Tylenol, bandages, etc. It got to the point where I earned the name Pack, as people joked that I was like a pack mule with all the shit i carried on me. Basically if someone needed something there was a 9/10 chance that I had it or something close. I did this as a way to talk to people and strike up conversations.
This incident revolves around a couple basic items I carried. Feminine products. Things like pads, tampons, basic perfume/deodorant, and some lotion. I noticed my female coworkers often needed these and as we work night shift, no stores were open for them to run to on break. It was a massive success you could say, a lot of the women were either grateful that I had them or surprised that a guy wasn’t ashamed to carry them.
The incident surround one woman, Jane Doe. So it was last Monday and I was manning the gate with a coworker, John. As I am writing the logs for incoming trucks, Jane pulled up to leave through the gate. And John asks why she was leaving early, we have to ask, and Jane said she had to go get some pads. And I spoke up and said "John, go in my bag, zipper with the pink tag. There’s regular and heavy." So John gets them and offers them to her and she takes some. And she just had this weird look on her face and mutter thanks and went back in to the warehouse. John and I didn’t think anything of it and went back to our duties.
Well flash forward to last Tuesday and I got called into HR. They sat me down and gave me a talking to for making a female coworker feeling uncomfortable and unsafe. I was confused and asked what they were talking about. HR clarified that Jane had lodged a complaint against me. Luckily they let me tell my side of the story and reviewed the camera footage from our gate booth. So HR cleared me and just advised me to steer clear of Jane for a while. Jane told all of her work friends about it, so a rumor was born that I was a creep.Well I can tolerate someone going to HR, cause if I did nothing wrong I have nothing to fear. But I wont tolerate being called a creep. (Context for that, I started balding at 16 and am overweight. So all through high school I was called "creepy" and "weird" for my looks.) So I decided that if it was creepy that I had these products, then I would stop carrying them. I took them out of my bag and left them in HRs office.
This led to all of the women in the warehouse from asking me what happened and why I stopped carrying the products. I told the truth and referred them all to confirm with HR if they didn’t trust me. Ever since Jane has been disliked and very unpopular. She called me an asshole for causing her to be alienated and basically bullied. I don’t feel bad about it. So am I?
NTA. In what world is it ok for her to call you a creep for helping her out but wrong for you to tell the truth about what happened?
Nta. She tried to get out of work by lying about the pads. Then she lied about you. It backfired. You should go to hr about the creep comments and get her fast tracked to unemployment.
Pretty sure she didnt need pads, she was just using it as an excuse. Now shes having to deal woth the consequences when everyone else basically praised you for being a stand up guy.
She wont last long. Dont stress
NTA. It’s nice to want to be ready for emergencies but now it’s a problem so you stopped Honestly, as a woman. I don’t think it’s anyone’s responsibility but my own to keep emergency supplies handy in my own bag. I’d never expect a coworker to have what I need, especially a male coworker. It was very kind of you to be so thoughtful. I’m sorry someone was ungrateful.
NTA, but I’m confused, wouldn’t a better solution be to ask your manager to stock them in the women’s room rather than encouraging people to come talk to you? And if you’re working with such a large number of women, why don’t they ask each other for backup supplies? This situation just doesn’t sound that believable.
NTA
Jane was using her need for feminine hygiene products to duck out of work. You stopped her from leaving work early.
That’s what I was thinking. She had a date or a meetup and he messed all that up!
NTA
This happened last Tuesday, and now all the women in the warehouse are asking you where your emergency supplies are?
Idk how many women you mean to imply exist, but at least two women have had their period and had nothing ready? In one week?
Yup, fake fake fake.
I don’t know many women who don’t carry extras in their bag. Most women know they can go to another woman at work and the likelihood of her having something is pretty dang high. We learn that in middle school. For multiple women to be unprepared is extremely strange.
For any women to be *immediately* unprepared the first week after OP’s choice takes effect is itself unlikely. How many tampons/pads was OP buying each week, just for his coworkers?
I don’t believe a word of this.
What your work should have done, was ask you what stuff you keep in your bag, especially the feminine products and spent the $50 themselves to actually put a supply of pads and tampons in the bathrooms themselves and told you it shouldn’t be up to you.
There should also be a first aid kit for things like the painkillers. It’s ridiculous you have felt a need to have your own supply in the first place.
She didn’t think think you were creepy, she was just looking for an excuse to leave work and you’re the one that prevented her.
Absolutely NTA, women like this deserve all the karma they can get.