I (16M) was told by my dad to make a Christmas list. I kept it simple and asked for three things:
1. My driver’s permit (which I’ve been asking for for a while)
2. An Xbox Series X
3. An irrelevant item to the story
My main goal was the permit. I wake up at 5:30 a.m. every day to catch the bus to school and stand outside in the cold. After school my bus is also inconsistent (One time I was at school an extra hour because my bus was late.) I figured if I got my permit, I could start learning to drive and eventually stop relying on the bus. I don’t feel like I was asking for a lot. I just wanted something that would help me in my daily life.
My brother also made a list. He got everything he asked for, including a VR headset. My dad also bought himself a brand new PS5 and 14 games :/.
I didn’t get anything from my list. Instead, my dad gave me a Yamaha Blaster (a quad/ATV). I didn’t ask for it. I’m not really into recreational riding. I’ve told him this, but he just shrugs me off. I used to have another quad, but we sold it. I’ve never been into dirt bikes or quads as much like the rest of my family. I can’t use them to get to school or work (I know I said I don’t have a job but it still applies in general). They’re just for fun, and I’m not interested in that kind of fun.
So, I was pretty disappointed. I didn’t tell him thanks or anything. I was feeling pretty pissed at the time and so I said some comments about the bike. I even asked if we could sell the Blaster and use the money to get me what I actually asked for: either the permit/training or the Xbox. My dad got mad and called me ungrateful. Infact, he said he didn’t get the permit was because "What they can teach you, I can teach you." which doesn’t make sense at all. Considering a permit means I’m LEGALLY allowed to drive.
Later, I said I’ll start saving up for the Xbox, and he told me I should just save up for my permit myself. But I’m 16 and I don’t have a job. And even if I saved up the $400 or more it costs, I’d still need his help for everything:
– Signing documents
– Taking me to the DMV
– Supervising my driving
– Helping with driver’s training
So it feels like something a parent should help with, not something I should have to do alone. Meanwhile, he keeps buying dirt bikes and quads for the family, and now a PS5 for himself.
I even asked him that if I found a good price on an Xbox, if he would drive me down the hill to help me get it, he even said no to that, saying "I wouldn’t pay him gas money" :/.
I was upset and probably came off a little rude. But I feel like my disappointment was valid. I wasn’t asking for anything crazy. I just wanted something that would actually help me, and it would’ve cost less than what he spent on the Blaster.
AITA for being upset and asking to sell the gift to get what I actually wanted?
No sweetheart, you’re NTA. You sound like a sensible kid that has valid points for asking for what you want. I don’t understand why he did not pay attention to the list he asked you to write. Could you get a job offering to clean yards, mow yards, do odd jobs in your neighborhood to earn some cash? That might be a good start to saving for your permit and even that XBox!
NTA, if your dad can buy an ATV that sits around 5k on average and ~980 on games he can buy you a Xbox and spend time with you most parents wish they had.
NTA sorry you have to deal with that dude.
Im a new dad and it sounds like he isnt listening for whatever reason. A good dad would never treat their kid this way. I sold my gaming pc at a $1000 loss just to get my stepson the room he wanted after doing months of 80 hours of overtime and id happily do it again. Hes setting you up to fail. Just work on staying responsible move out and on with your life. It sucks but i promise it gets better when you finally are “of age” to do shit on your own
I’m quite confused here because in the state I live a driver’s permit is like $25. Your parent just has to go with you to the DMV and sign the forms.
I’m not really sure that’s a Christmas present, feels like it’s just an hour on a Saturday morning type thing.
So maybe your Dad thought he was getting you an actual present, instead of this one that doesn’t really seem like a present at all?
Also if he bought a PS5 maybe he doesn’t see a reason to buy an Xbox, since you can just play the PS5? I also don’t know why someone would buy themselves 14 games at a time.
Not OP, but my state requires you to take driver’s education with simulator & behind the wheel training. It’s $395 here. And it required from age 15-20. Once you’re 21 you can just take the written test & get your permit.
It’s possible OP lives in NJ, but he didn’t specify mention that, as it would make a bit more sense. Although the part about the Dad saying he could just teach him makes it seem unusual if it was required.
NTA. I don’t know but this screams “favoritism” lmao. Cuz what explanation does he possibly have that is valid and not unreasonable to get your brother everything on his list but not a single one of yours?
NTA just sell your quad. He gave it to you. It is now yours to do with as you please
NTA. Asking for your permit should not have even had to become a Christmas list item. This is something that is necessary to live life in the US. He’s being neglectful in his duties as a parent to prepare you for the real world. Is your mom in the picture? Can you ask her to help you with this?
NTA. Sell the quad thing & buy an Xbox. Real simple.
>he even said no to that, saying “I wouldn’t pay him gas money”
OP I’m sorry, but your father doesn’t seem very grown up or focused on you as his child. That’s a tough thing to realise sometimes.
NTA
Your Dad knows you won’t use the quad bike. Sure he’ll make use of it if you don’t.