This is kind of a long one, but the context feels important:
My wife and I moved into a new house 2 years ago. One of the first areas that needed attention/work was the backyard. We(I) made plans to build a shed. Not long after making the plans, whose blueprint were guided by local ordinance, the next-door neighbors returned from travel nursing \~6 months after us moving in, and we introduced ourselves and invited them over for a ‘get to know one another’ kind of thing – it seemed to go well.
We rented a mini excavator to get the land ready, and invited a bunch of friends over to bbq and help out and invited the neighbors, as well. Everyone has kids and we thought the kids could make some great memories ‘operating’ the machine. The neighbors(lets call them the smiths) declined. After our friends had left, Mr.Smith came outside with their oldest(same age as our son) and held him up so they could watch me operate the machine while peeking through the thin hedges that seperate our backyards. I waved them over, which he ignored it/pretended like he didnt see it, and then they went back into their house shortly after. This is when I notice that Smiths are have been ignoring us: they dont say hello/acknowledge when we are outside and when we take our kids outside to play, they go inside immediately.
A few weeks go by, the concrete pad is poured and 3 walls for the shed are up. We got a visit from the building inspector.
I told the inspector all of the dimensions, she took measurements, said I "did my homework" and then went on her way saying that I had to wait for the building commison to rule on everything before I could go any further. Next day I got a stop build order. I went to the planners office, talked to the head of building inspections and went line-by-line through the code to make my case about how the shed was legal. I was told I could continue the build.
Two weeks later, Im working when the same building inspector comes into the backyard and says, "Oh, I thought this address sounded familiar! Ok, youre good, ive already visited." I hopped down and she says I "clearly had some nosey neighbors" and then told me that I didnt have to worry about her coming by again, if her office got a complaint she would just text me and let me know. Another 2 weeks, and I got a text from her, "Same neighbors are calling another complaint in, just a heads up."
The smiths have been acting like we dont exist for some time, and then I catch the wife glaring at me \*\*hard\*\* as I pulled out to go get groceries. I immediately called my wife and said to her my spidey sense is telling me it was them that called the city on us.
Am I the asshole for not asking for their permission to build our shed, or for not showing them the building specs despite it being to code? Their backyard has plenty of sun and the view on the side was essentially the other neighbors homes and trees \~50-60ft tall, its not like the shed is blocking a ‘pretty view’.
You’re not the asshole.
You followed code. You pulled permits. You dealt with inspections. That’s the correct process. You don’t need a neighbor’s “permission” to build something that’s legally allowed on your own property.
Some people feel territorial about anything that changes the view or the vibe, even if it’s minor and compliant. Instead of talking to you directly, they chose to go through complaints. That says more about their conflict style than about your behavior.
Would it have been nice to give them a heads up before starting? Maybe. But it’s a courtesy, not an obligation. And even if you had shown them the specs, people who want to object will usually still find something to object to.
At this point, the healthiest move is to stay calm, keep everything by the book, and don’t escalate. Wave if you feel like it. Don’t chase them for approval.
You built something legally on your property. That’s not an offense. Their reaction doesn’t make you wrong.
NTA, you followed local codes, got the proper inspections, and stayed within your rights. Your neighbors may be nosy or petty, but you’re under no obligation to get their permission or share plans as long as you’re legal. Being considerate is different from needing approval, and you clearly did your homework.
You are NTA
It’s your property and you have dotted all your i’s and crossed all your t’s for legality. In no way could you possibly be considered an AH for making a completely legal improvement to your own property that doesn’t impose on your neighbors.
Some neighbors are just like that. Sorry you got bad ones.
NTA
Continue to be friendly and wave at the neighbors (it’ll become a fun thing over time). Finish your shed and don’t worry about them
They didn’t say anything to you prior so they get no say. And since they have removed themselves from your circle, just appreciate the fact you don’t have to deal with whatever drama they make up with everyone else.
You’re neighbors, not roommates.
NTA
This is so weird. I’ve lived in some pretty friendly neighborhoods and even then it would have been odd if someone announced they were doing a project unless it was something like a fence that would be up against the property line.
Do these people also ask for a community vote on whether you get a new roof? What color your front door is? Nah, I’m not living it an HOA lite
Right? If my neighbour stopped by to tell me they were building a shed that in no way impacted me, I can’t think of any response besides “…okay?”
I would honestly think they were trying to get me to help volunteer to build it or something. Can’t imagine these types of neighbors would have appreciated that either
NTA. You technically DID invite them to the reveal party and they declined.
NTA. I’ll fake a smile and give a thumbs up, then point to my shed
No, it’s your property.
NTA. You followed all of the rules of your community. That’s all that is their business. They are likely annoyed with noise. But guess what? Also not their business. They are just being AHs here.
NTA but by the sound of it – cranes, concrete mixers – the noise probably bothered them. They didn’t have to report you ffs