I (30M) used to be friends with a woman (30F) who I met at university. We were that close we were hanging out every day and got to know each other. We had a falling out as she stole a piece of my academic work and I faced an investigation from the academics and staff from higher up. While we were friends she told me she was from "x" town and I told her I’m from "y" town, both seaside resorts. I was shocked she was from x town because my mother went on holiday there every year and I scattered her ashes there when I was 19 after she lost her battle with breast cancer.
X town is a really popular and sought after area in England, prices can go up to 800k for a 3-bedroom home and doesn’t come by that easily. I searched the town on Rightmove to see if any properties had come up for sale and there was one going for 325k. However, this property was so affordable because it needed modernising and renovating.
This property was also in a perfect location. It’s by the seaside, I can go on long runs on the beach every day, which I do for my mental health. It’s a five minute walk from where I scattered mum’s ashes, it’s an 8 minute walk to the train station, I can get the train to Central London (I work here) two days a week and so forth, it’s cheap to live in this area.
I did not step inside my property until after New Years Day because there were a lot of jobs builders needed to do. After New Years Day, I got to work doing the renovations I can do. A few weeks ago, an Amazon van pulled up to drop off packages, next door wasn’t in. He asked me if I could drop off a package, I saw the name, realised I’m living next door to my former friend as it’s a unique spelling and said no.
Ex-friend has now found out I live next door to her and her parents and banged on my door causing a commotion, all the neighbours came outside. From speaking to relatives, I’m apparently an ahole because I won’t move house. I guess I’m a probably an asshole for letting there be tension in the street. But, it doesn’t bother me that I live next door to her. As far as I’m concerned, I’ve moved on from this incident with her, it’s in a dream location and I refuse to move at all because one person is unhappy. AITA?
NTA. She doesn’t own the neighbourhood. You’re a reminder of something bad she did, and I expect she doesn’t like it. Not to mention, you put time and money into that house, and it’s in a perfect location for you. She’ll either get over it or move. You don’t need to worry about it. If she harasses you, involve the police.
ETA: clarity
NTA. OP did not know the neighbor, nor is he responsible for her feelings. Time for the Ex and family to realize the world can be funny sometimes .
NTA as long as you keep to yourself. you picked the house for your own reasons—location, lifestyle, memories—not to mess with her. Just stay lowkey and let her make a fuss if she want as long as you don’t engage with her, it’s her problem, not yours
NTA but what is this British curtesy that your relatives are telling you to move AWAY FROM WHERE YOU SCATTERED YOUR MOMS ASHES?! I can not imagine telling someone to move away after finding a steal of a price for something so close to a heartfelt place
I didn’t actually see it like this, now I’m a little annoyed they had the audacity to tell me to move from where I scattered my ashes.
I don’t understand why your family would be on the side of a complete stranger. What is their reasoning?
NTA but be ready for a rocky road. A grown woman with friends and family in her home town is likely to do whatever she can to make your life miserable and difficult. She had her parents banging down your door, for crying out loud. Get good locks, camera, and security. If you have the room in your heart and home, a ferocious dog with a formidable name like Mephistopheles might be good in helping keep the peace.
NTA. Her guilty conscience is not your problem. You are now neighbors, and this woman needs to grow up and deal.
NTA. You bought a house in a town that matters to you emotionally and practically. Coincidences happen, especially in small or desirable areas. Her reaction was inappropriate and escalated things unnecessarily. You are not obligated to move to make someone who harmed you feel more comfortable. Stay where you are and keep your boundaries firm
NTA but cameras and fences are your friends!
Edit: Wow! Thank you for the award!
Getting camera’s fitted internally and externally tomorrow. Luckily there’s an alleyway detaching our houses between us so it shouldn’t be too much trouble.
Install some cameras and keep living your best life.
NTA. It sounds like there is plenty of sand around for her to pound
I bought a house across the street from a coworker that I often found to be difficult although I always tried to be nice to her. 11 years later, it’s fine. We very seldom see each other. Either of us ever banged on the other’s door, though.
If they do it again, can you have them trespassed? And do get cameras & an alarm system.
Shame and guilt are twin anchors pulling us down.
Isn’t it amazing that we fear and loathe those we have harmed more than those that have harmed us?
NTA of course but good luck with the welcome committee.