Me,my mom,and my friend were on the phone planning a trip to Seattle for a little vacation sometime later this year. My friend agrees to go but then immediately follows up with it saying “I’ll go but my girlfriend also has to come”. I haven’t seen him in 4-5 years,and we haven’t been talking much the past 6 months due to his relationship taking up all of his time. I just felt as if it was a bit weird because why can’t we just spend time together without other people being involved?
INFO: How old are you all? How long is the trip? What exactly did you say to him/call him?
I agree with you that it’s annoying when our friends find a partner and suddenly lose identity or independence because of it, but that’s the way it is, unfortunately.
“why can’t we just spend time together without other people being involved?”
I mean that’s already not the case, your mom is going. What’s one more?
Tbf it sounds like he’d probably end up spending the whole time with his gf while OP third wheels. At that point, no point in bringing him.
Not the ahole, just frustrated he cant hang solo after all these years
INFO: Why is it acceptable for you to bring your mom, but he can’t bring his GF? (I am assuming you are not a child.) It’s not like you had a one on one trip planned.
**NTA.**
You haven’t seen the dude in 4-5 years and he can’t do ONE week without his gf?
Wanting 1:1 time with a friend is normal, especially after he ghosted you on your birthday. The fact that she already “doesn’t like you” because he gives you attention screams insecurity. If he can’t function without her present, that’s his choice. But you’re not wrong for pointing out he’s relationship-absorbed.
At this point I wouldn’t even want the Seattle trip. Third-wheeling a clingy couple for a week sounds exhausting AF.
INFO: Why is your mother involved in this?
Same reason that this wouldn’t be an issue if they were to plan a trip to Chicago or Havana instead of Seattle for “a little vacation”.
Extraneous, unnecessary information from an unreliable narrator in a four sentence post.
NAH. I get you wanting to spend time with him without the gf always glued to him, but at the same time it makes sense if he wants his gf to be involved in trips he goes to. Sounds like this trio isn’t going to work out.
INFO: Is your mother going on the trip?
NAH