**AITA for cancelling my friend’s wedding invite to take care of my mother who has cancer?**
I have two close friends I’ve known for over 10 years. We live in different countries now but always stayed in touch and were there for each other through everything.
Two years ago, my mother was diagnosed with a rare cancer. It’s been extremely hard, mentally and physically, because it’s just me and my dad taking care of her. Around the same time, both of my friends started relationships with their now-girlfriends (this was before my mom’s diagnosis).
We went from talking and video calling almost every day to barely speaking for months. I tried to be understanding because life happens and new relationships take time. But I still wondered why they never checked in. I eventually told them how bad things were with my mom. They said, “I’m here if you need anything,” but there were no real check-ins or support.
Fast forward: one of them announced he was getting married. He invited me, and I accepted, but I told him clearly that if my mom’s health got worse, I might have to cancel. He said he understood.
About six months later, after my mom had surgery, we went for a PET scan on Monday. On Tuesday, he called to ask if I was still coming because he wanted to buy me an expensive suit so we’d all match. Based on how my mom looked at that moment and my hope the cancer hadn’t spread, I said I would come.
The next day, the PET results came back. We found out the cancer had spread to her pelvis and lymph nodes. I called him the day after and told him I couldn’t come: my mom’s condition had worsened, we’d likely need money for treatment again, and I couldn’t justify flying across continents and leaving her. He said he understood.
Since then, things have been awful. My mom got worse and needed another surgery which cost a lot. During all this, I tried several times to contact him, but he ghosted me. I later found out he deleted me from everywhere and heard from another friend that he’d had some kind of “revelation.”
On the wedding day, I noticed my other longtime friend (who went to the wedding) had also unfollowed me.
I’m proud I chose to stay with my mother and support her. But I don’t understand how, after everything we went through together, this is how they responded.
Has anyone gone through something similar? How do you cope with losing friends like this on top of everything else?