So context: My fiancé and I signed up for premarital counseling. Our church required it, however I’m always up for counseling and it knocks a few bucks off the wedding license too. It’s a win/win. When we met with the pastor, they scheduled it for Wednesdays after work. The problem with this is that once a week, my fiancé meets up with her best friends and sister on Wednesdays for a girls night. The counseling is for 2 wednesdays of this month. This upsets my fiance because girls night can’t be rescheduled due to all of them not being able to meet on another day. She also feels targeted by our pastor because the pastor knows she has prior plans on Wednesday and still chose to plan it on Wednesdays. Tonight she mentioned again that the counseling being on Wednesday was such an inconvenience for her because she really wanted to go to girls night. Because she keeps mentioning how targeted and inconvenient it is for her, I got upset and cancelled it for her and told the pastor I couldn’t make the counseling this week. I turn to my fiance telling her that now it’s cancelled and she can go do what she wanted. She says I’m the bad guy and I need to put it back on the schedule
Well… definitely sounds like y’all need counseling.
ESH.
You suck because you heard, but you didn’t listen. You didn’t discuss. That’s what she’s seeing in what you did.
She sucks because she’s not willing to compromise for a few weeks.
Whatever you would have saved on the marriage license by going to counseling won’t make up for what you’ll both lose in the divorce. Neither of you are ready for marriage.
Info needed- Did you both agree to the counseling on that specific day of the week?
YTA for calling to cancel without talking to her about it.
This should have been a discussion.
Communication is probably one of the things they’d cover… In counseling.
Info: Was she actually going to skip the counseling, or was she just complaining? Because people are allowed to complain. I mean, that is incredibly immature of her to not be willing to give up two nights out, for the sake of getting married. It’s called being an adult – you don’t always get to do what you wanna do. Can I assume you guys are on the lower side of 25?
I don’t understand why you both didn’t just insist on a different day since Wednesdays don’t work.
ESH she was too enamored with girls night to miss it for a couple of weeks? What? She feels targeted by the pastor? What? Literally what?
Good luck, man. You’re going to need it.
YTA. She was whining, but it doesn’t sound like she was planning to skip it. It also doesn’t sound like she said she wanted to cancel it, that’s something you did unilaterally.
ESH If girls night is a weekly thing, she can miss it for two weeks to do the premarital counseling. Surely not everyone has been able to make it every single Wednesday, life happens.
You should have discussed it with her before cancelling, and also could have told her if she wants to cancel she can call the pastor.
The “targeted” thing and saying the pastor knows she has plans on Wednesdays is…odd. Maybe that’s the only evening the pastor has free to do it? And again, it’s just two sessions, I don’t get why she can’t deal with it.
Tells me that marriage isn’t a top priority at present.
And you said your church requires it. And you canceled? Sounds like a problem.
Soft YTA imo. She was venting, not asking you to cancel. You made a unilateral decision about joint counseling without discussing it first. Apologize and reschedule it.
ESH. you’re both not ready to get married.