Sorry for bad English, is not my first language!
Me (23F) have been friends with this girl 21F) for over 3 years with no problems. Our friend group is small and we ALWAYS meet on weekends on someone’s house. For last 2 month we (the group) have notice the this friends (we call her Ju) always ends the night mad and fighting someone over something stupid, making the entire night awful. On the next day she will apologize saying that she was too drunk and doesn’t remember anything. Now for the las month and a half I have been dating the brother (M23) of the other girl in the group (we call him To). I know for a fact that Ju used to have a lil crush on him but nothing happened (need to clarify she has a boyfriend of over 5 years now) but I begin to notice that when her boyfriend was not on the gathering she will be extremely touchy and flirty with To even tho I’m there and we’re dating. He notices it too and let me know the he was not interested and that was rude of her in doing so. I’m not the only one who notices that behavior and the other member of the group call her out but she said what she always says "I was too drunk". Las night the whole group meet again and her behavior changed dramatically, she was being rude and mean all night, making inappropriate comments about everyone, gettin on everyone’s business and just being kinda of a bitch tbh. At one point she begin to make really mean comments about to and I can tell he was really cooling himself to no say anything, she kept this on the whole night (even making gag noises when he grabbed my hand and vomiting faces when we kiss )and finally he snapped and told her she was being a bitch, she started yelling at him and they had a big fight while the rest of the group could only watch and try to calm her down, at the end she yell that she was disappointed that no other girl o friend (looking at me) would defend her and stomped out of the house with her bf and then left the group chat.
I don’t try to take sides but her behavior the last couple months has been really tiring I don’t really know what to do. She is not talking to me but I know she is saying I’m a bad friend for choosing a man over her
First of all, breaking this into paragraphs is gonna make it easier to read.
Nta shes being a shitty friend. Are you sure you still want to be her friend? It sounds like she’s only ever miserable to be around.
Ju wants To
NTA.
Trash that takes itself out is great isn’t it?
NTA
Also, this is too big for me to read, it would be nice to break them up into paragraphs
NTA, she can’t just keep using the excuse “I was drunk” EVERY single time.
NTA
Being a pick me while you already have a boyfriend is nuts. Good riddance, they don’t sound like good enough of a friend for anyone to be tolerating this behaviour.
NTA.
First and foremost, being “too drunk” is no excuse for anything. Alcohol reduces the inhibition against doing the things you wanted to do anyway. Like flirting, or saying what you feel instead of being polite.
A good friend would not treat their friend badly over a random guy you just met. But also a good friend does not flirt with the guy you are dating. In this case clearly SHE was being the bad friend.
What to do? Nothing. Wait for her to apologize. If the apology never comes, then she was never really your friend.
NTA, you didn’t choose a man over her, she chose to act up, treat everyone badly and embarrass herself. (FYI I could read your paragraph easily:)
NTA.
And it seems your friend in question never stopped crushing on your boyfriend and she seems angry that you got the boy she couldn’t
NTA. You didn’t choose a man over a friend. You just didn’t excuse her rude and offensive behavior. Sounds like the rest of your group was tired of it, too.
She’s jealous and hurt and taking it out on everyone around her. You’re choosing calmness and having a peaceful night and not putting up with her horrible behavior. That’s a good choice. She sounds awful. She’s using drinking to excuse her disrespectful behavior. So either she’s lying, in which case she’s a bad friend, or she has a drinking problem, in which case she should not be going out drinking with you. Either way, you’re better off without her for these gatherings.
I mean, she’s openly flirting with your boyfriend and touching him… that’s not what a good friend does! You should be celebrating that you don’t have to deal with her negativity and aggression anymore. This is a win.
NTAH and friend needs AA.
NTA. sounds like this girl is not a good friend, and the fact that she cannot take accountability for her actions (“drunk”) is absolutely crazyyyy work. if the gender was reversed, and a man kept touching, flirting, and pushing a girl’s boundaries too far (consistently too!), and said, “i was just too drunk!” the reaction would be COMPLETELY different.
also, as an adult, when you are with someone who treats you well and that you love, you WILL take their side. that is a normal thing.
cut her off. you didnt go at her hard enough the first time when she made your bf so uncomfortable that he had to find a trusted adult to help. again. if she pulled this stuff as a man, i’d be guns blazing and kicking her OUTTTTT the second she made a friend uncomfortable. just because she is a woman, does not proclude her from this reaction. sounds like she wants to play the feminist card. why dont you play the, “hey, you are simply a bad person who did bad things and being held accountable for those things is impossible for you so bye”