I (early 20s) have a friend who only seems to reach out when they need something. I’ve supported them a lot over the years, but whenever I need help, they disappear or brush it off. They also make jokes at my expense and say I’m “too sensitive” when I call it out.
Recently, they asked me for a big favor that would’ve taken a lot of time and energy. For the first time, I said no and explained I needed to focus on myself.
They got upset, said I’ve changed and that I’m being selfish. Some mutual friends agree and say I should’ve helped to keep the peace.
I feel bad because they’re going through a hard time, but I also feel relieved for setting boundaries.
AITA?
NTA. Try just saying no without the explanation, it gives them more fuel to argue.
NTA. Full stop
NTAH I had a friend that was just like this, always needed me for someone to talk to or someone to keep an eye on her apartment or her son and was constantly talking smack about me thinking I wouldn’t hear about it until finally one day I asked if I could come over and talk to her for 10 minutes because I needed someone for once…and she told me no but asked me to watch her son for her that night. She didn’t seem to like it when I answered with a resounding NO because I haven’t heard from her since. You have to stand up for yourself and pick yourself for once. Say no and don’t feel at all bad about it. Choose Peace
NTA, see what happens with this friendship if you stop giving them everything and setting healthy boundaries.
NTA. Gain even more peace by cutting out the other friends.
people only want you keeping the peace if they are A: Cowards who can’t set boundaries, or B: The ones who benefit from others “keeping the peace”.
NTA- if your friends think it’s so selfish not to help then THEY can do it. Enjoy the relief, OP.
Thanks.