I moved to a new state in Jan 2025. I was out of work for a few months so my Mom introduced me to a friend that she used to help with dog walks/pet sitting. I started to assist with gigs here and there and eventually she asked me to do 2 weekly Sunday dog walks. I said yes knowing that during the Winter she said the hours would change from 6:00 AM -> 7:00 AM. So Winter comes & this change is not happening any more. I’m not thrilled but it’s fine. I continue to do the walks at 6:00 AM. Towards the end of 2025, she suddenly tells me 1 of the dogs no longer requires a walk. So I continue to do the 1 walk, despite it almost not being worth the time & money to just walk 1 dog, I thought I would still be helping her out. Over the past year, I’ve committed to doing a few pet sitting gigs & have not canceled a single one on her, despite her canceling multiple ones on her end, most times with a short notice that I’ve already added to my schedule & cleared my calendar for. I also often pick up dog walking shifts for her with less than 24 hours notice.
Now the AITA situation happened today, so it’s still fairly fresh. In Jan 2026, she asked if I could do a 3 day pet sitting gig that was scheduled for the end of May 2026. I told her I could do the gig because at the time, I did not have anything planned. However, now I have close family & friends coming to visit that weekend & I have not seen them since I moved. This was a surprise but nevertheless I was happy. I informed her yesterday via text that I would no longer be able to do 2 days of the pet sitting gig but I could still do 1 day if she needed. She responded to me today & was extremely upset. She essentially said that since I cancelled, it puts her in a difficult situation as they’ve also made plans for that time. I told her I was very sorry but I wouldn’t cancel unless it was absolutely necessary. She then decided to bring up a previous time in Jan 2026, where I had to cancel a Sunday morning walk 3 days prior due to a last minute schedule change at my FT job. Since she had to cover my shift, she ended up canceling an entire trip to another state. However, at the time when I told her I was canceling, she said it was fine & that the walk would be added to another person’s schedule. Essentially, due to these two instances, I have shown a lack of commitment & consistency which is damaging to her reputation so I was “let go”. I told her once again that I was sincerely sorry & it was never my intention to cause any harm to her reputation or affect her personal schedule. She said she would’ve understood if an emergency situation happened, but I feel like canceling at the last minute is way worse than giving 2 months notice, as referring to the previous situation where I had to cancel a walk 3 days prior. I honestly think this parting is for the best, it’s just unfortunate that she was sort of my Mom’s friend.
Unfortunately, YTA. You accepted the shift, so yes you are unreliable for cancelling (for a non emergency reason) now. I understand you want time with your family and friends, but that doesn’t change the fact you already accepted the shift.
It’s perfectly acceptable, considering they gave 1+ month notice. There are many petsitting apps and companies available – what would she have done if OP had said no from the beginning?
Strong NTA – they aren’t leaving the woman in a bad position at all. If she cancelled her trip, that’s a massive overreaction.
NTA
you are letting her know two months prior of the weekend that you will not be able to do it, that’s a lot of lot time to search for a replacement. I think maybe she’s too lazy to do it so she has to blame it on you since you are “lacking commitment” for the job.
honestly you’re better off without her
NAH – you let her know with reasonable time to find a replacement. And she’s entitled to set her own personal expectations, and stop hiring you if she wants to. I do think she has slightly unreasonable standards, but not AH-level.
I appreciate this reasoning & I feel like this is where my head is at. Canceling on her was truly not done out of malice but I think ultimately I would regret not seeing my family and friends over keeping these gigs. I believe we came to a mutual understanding and parted amicably, but at the end of the day, I think it ended up being for the better that she doesn’t want my assistance anymore.
You are giving so much notice. NTA.
NTA. It’s unfortunate that you feel caught in between. But ask yourself this, if she was not your mother’s friend would you put up with this? It’s better for you to move on.
NTA. Over 2 months notice is more than any employer naturally expects for vacation requests. You are more than gracious towards this woman and have seemingly only canceled the one time prior so you are clearly a reliable person despite her being less than consistent.
2 months notice is PLENTY of time to find another person to walk your dog.
NTA – 100% NTA. What reputation are you damaging? Why does she even have dogs if she needs so much time away from them.
From re-reading my post & I’m unsure if this makes a big difference but all these gigs are for clients of hers. So if I cancel, she then has to find a replacement for me. I’m honestly not sure how many other people help her with these clients but that’s where the “reputation” part comes in because if she has to cancel on her clients, it makes her look bad. So that’s why I’m now unreliable to her & the fact that I canceled on this upcoming gig that I previously committed to makes me TA.
It sounds like both of you are making the mistake of blurring personal and professional lines due to the mutual relationship with your mother. What actually happened here was, your employer fired you because they weren’t satisfied with your reliability. Whether or not your performance was bad enough to justify this step is really not a question for AITA. But my advice would be that it’s also really not a question for you to spend too much time dwelling on. This woman is now your former employer, just move on with your life.
NTA
You gave her more than enough time to reschedule, find a replacement, or come up with another solution that didn’t involve “letting you go”. Some people will claim that in a year they have never called in sick or had a family emergency, but a vast majority of us have had reason to call in to work to let them know we wouldn’t be in today. Her holding that against you seems harsh.
All in all, this is for the best. It doesn’t sound like it was much more than an unneeded additional stress in your life, so even if you feel bad about it, don’t. You will be fine without this.