sically a few months ago I (17)f and my sister(18)f were in a drive through, and my sister was trying to back out but couldn’t, so she got mad and hit the race and crashed into the wall almost totaling the front bumper ever since new problems arose with the car like the AC not working because of something related to the crash and other problems and this issue has costed my mother almost 1500 BD in damages which is a huuge amount for us to pay especially considering my father recently passed away. I didn’t like the fact that my mother was paying but I couldn’t really do anything as the money me and my sister get monthly from my dads death isn’t enough to cover it however a few days ago my sisters AC has had yet another issue wgich is costing my mother 200 BD and that’s where the issue is
My sister is helping my mother with 100 on top of the 200 that my mother is paying
and I’m upset because I know that my sister saves and is capable of paying and I wouldn’t have said anything but today my mother was telling me that she would take me to the appointment we had for a facial but that she wouldn’t be getting one as she doesn’t have enough money, and that she only had 100 for the rest of the month which is nothing considering she has to cook for 3 people and Eid is right around the corner yet she won’t be getting any clothes and nothing done because she simply doesn’t have enough money so I confronted my sister which is where I might be the asshole
I told her that it’s not fair that mom has to deal with the consequences of the car that she destroyed and she has to pay the full amount because mom gives us everything but just let her at least enjoy her Eid and my sister kept making excuses saying that it’s her right to buy other stuff that she wants and told me that I should help our mom
I told her I would pay for her facial but that I couldn’t afford to pay and if I could I wouldn’t have even talked to her, but she’s not even willing to acknowledge the fact that it’s not mom’s responsibility to pay.
I really don’t know what to do and I don’t know if I’m in the wrong here AITA?
TLDR : sister wrecks car and refuses to pay for damages forcing our mom to be broke
nah you’re not wrong at all. your sister wrecked the car, thats her mess to clean up.. not your mom’s. especially with your dad gone and eid coming. she knows what she’s doing, she just doesnt wanna feel it
**(NTA)**
i get she’s 18 and wants her own stuff.. thats fair. but when your mom is sitting there with 100 for the whole month and cant even get herself something nice for eid bc she’s cleaning up YOUR crash?? thats not “buying what i want” thats just selfish with extra steps. your mom deserves better than that honestly
NTA
Don’t get involved. If your mother isn’t also asking her for money, let it be.
Even though you’re in the right.
Info: is your mother aware of the circumstances of the crash, or did your sister make up a lie about how it happened?
Did your mom tell your sister she’s no longer allowed to drive the car until she pays your mom back for the repairs? (I recognize this wouldn’t happen if your mom doesn’t know the truth about the crash).
Your sister sounds like a spoiled brat.
Uour sister caused the issue with the car, so she is responsible for paying for it. It’s not you or your mother’s issue. She needs to grow up and act her age.
You have a right to feel upset, but the reality is that it’s not your choice what your mom does with her money or how she parents your siblings. NTA, but for your own sake, stay out of it.
NTA. But your mom is enabling your sister’s selfishness. I wonder if it’s grief from losing your dad? Or was your mom always like this. I hope your talk will make your sister rethink her behavior (doubtful.)
Seriously man, how irresponsible and she didn’t make a mistake she threw a tantrum
a decent daughter would be embarrassed. she’d be hustling to pay every last dinar back. instead she’s negotiating like this is optional.
you weren’t wrong to confront her. someone had to say it.
because right now? she’s acting less like a daughter and more like a financial burden with attitude.
NTA. When I was 18, my parents would only pay for repairs that were essential (ie things that made the car drive). If non-essentials broke, like the AC or radio, you either pay for it yourself or you go without. And if we had a source of income, we were expected to contribute to paying for the essentials.
Your sister broke it and has a source of income. It’s completely reasonable to expect her to contribute to paying for her mistakes. But that message should come from your mother, not just you.
You’re really hard up as a family when you have to scrounge for a ….facial. ? Seriously. Your mother needs to get a grip.
Info: whose car is it? Does anyone have an income?
Soft yta, only because you confronted your sister about it. I understand why you’re upset.
Your sister isn’t making your mother pay for her mistake. Your mother chooses to help her. I’m going to be a mother soon, and if in the future when my kid is 18 and needs help even if its because of a mistake he makes, I will gladly give up on facial treatment and on new clothes to help them, and would prefer that he saves that money for his education or for his own needs. That’s the choice I made when I decided to have a child.
That’s between the two of them, its best that you stay out of it.