My birthday is on December. Last year, I was in a long-distance relationship with my now-ex, and the relationship had already become stressful. He would go silent after every argument, even though I told him many times how much that hurt me. I was usually the one who came back and tried to fix things.
His birthday his before mine and We weren’t talking, i can’t remember why ( honestly it was a pain to stay peaceful, we fought so much) but i managed to call him,sing for him, just to make him feel special. i even managed to make him a long distance gift . After that, he suddenly talked to me like nothing ever happened.
2 days before my birthday, there was another argument, and he stopped talking to me just like always. My birthday is one of the happy and sad day of my life because it always remind me of my grandma who liked to celebrate it more than anyone, he knew it and since she passed away it always has been difficult for me to had a good day on my birthday.
On my birthday i waited all the day to see if he’ll call or text or post me , i had great wishes even from people i didn’t know, even his family but i was just waiting and waiting. After that i took the firm decision to broke with him because i needed him for once and he wasn’t there.
5 days after my birthday his mom called me to ask me why her son didn’t post me she didn’t like that and she was wondering what was going on. I politely told her she should ask him because I didn’t know either. Later that day i received a call from him, crying, begging for forgiveness, he said that he didn’t reached out because he thought i wouldn’t answer (something I had literally never done to him)i said i’ll try to forgive him because ngl i really believed that he was the one.
Two months later, things still didn’t feel right, and I ended the relationship for good.
His mom called me after that, she told me I was selfish and I did not care about the family bonds(…?)and she said I was not “made for marriage” because I couldn’t forgive something “so small”, some of my family agreed with her( it hurt me a lot). But my sister supported me, she saw me crying and understood why I couldn’t keep doing this.
Now I’m wondering..
It seems that you’ve told him what’s important to you, and he has ignored it.
He doesn’t seem interested in doing the work to maintain the relationship.
You’ve done nothing wrong by sticking up for yourself.
NTA.
NTA
what the hell? Whose mommy has to smooth out their breakup for them? He is acting like a child. You did nothing wrong.
Move on and be grateful you’re not with this waste of a human anymore.
This post is a little confusing – you’ve been broken up for a year and this is still an issue?
NTA but this whole thing sounds necessarily dramatic. If you’re still thinking about this after a year, it might be good to think about talking to a professional. Life is too short for this type of drama.
NTA – and this isn’t about the missed birthday, but him using your sore points against you (going silent, not getting in touch with you on your birthday). He did those things \*because\* they hurt you – the harm was the goal. He is the one who isn’t relationship material, not you.
If his mother calls again, just be firm: “The relationship is over and your opinion is unnecessary.” As for your family, if they bring it up again you might want to add that no-one outside of a relationship knows what went on within it, and that their support while you’re feeling low would be appreciated.
Chin up, OP. You did the right thing in walking away.
The whole relationship sounds volatile and toxic. Be glad that you’re done but if your still thinking about this almost a year later, some counseling may be due
If he’s running to his mommy to tell her about your relationship issues you dodged a bullet. It doesn’t sound like it was a good or mature relationship in the first place. Move on and forget about him.
NTA.
But maybe do some research, read some books about healthy relationships before getting into another one?
NTA at all. Your ex seemed to feed on drama, and you’re done with it. Good for you for not putting up with the silent treatment, which is immature and manipulative. Your family (except for your sister) are definitely TA for thinking they get a vote on whether you break up with someone, and for not siding with you.
It’s the “small” things that make cracks in a relationship and lead them to falling apart.
It doesn’t sound like either you or your ex are capable of sustaining a relationship with your inability to communicate or be there for each other.