So recently my cousin had to come stay with us for personal reasons and my mum asked if she could stay in my room and naturally I agreed bc I’m a chill girl. But I fear not only has my space been invaded but so has my privacy and possessions. Idk if I’m overacting but day 1 of her being here she used MY towel without thinking to ask she decided to sleep on my side of the bed without consulting me first,and that wasn’t all that bad, until she began eating my food (I have a lot of allergies and can only eat specific foods). She takes and uses my stuff without permission and practically NEVER asks to borrow/use MY things; she used my boxcutter to cut off her acrylicnails without asking and repeatingfailedto replace the lid despite me askingher too. She watches videos on full blast/calls people when I’m trying to sleep and doesn’t respect my rules; i let her eat in my room though i rarely do it and when i ask she removes her plates before we go to bed she’s all defiant. I don’t really like talking to people bc im on the spectrum and its exhausting but she constantly tries to make conversation with me despite knowing this. She sits at MY desk all day even when I need to use it despite being home all day. My mum asked i borrow her my laptop but she uses it all the time giving me no time to use it even having the audacity to call it hers when I got a new iPad saying I’ll use the iPad and she’ll use my laptop?? On top of all that I have to share personal experiences too like? I really dont like her and I feel bad and I’m really trying but today I caught her using a devotional card I was given, to clean her nails? She also uses my hypoallergenic lotion without asking. Even moving around my stuff and not putting it back. And let me not get started on how petty she is,and all this is just the tip of the iceberg. Anyways idk what to do I really dont want to hate her but she makes it sooooo hard not too.
NTA. While maybe some of the things she does isn’t the worst, a good majority of them sound pretty awful, especially the calls and usages of desk and laptop. You are going to have to tell your mom this and if she brushes it off, start putting your foot down.
However, I do have to ask, did your cousin bring anything of her own?
Yes,she brought her own books and study materials and obviously clothes and toiletries but she didn’t bring a towel and etc but the stuff of mine shes been using is stuff she didn’t bring but she has brought her owl lotion so I dont understand the use of mine
You need to talk to your mom about what you’re experiencing and ask for her support in regaining some of your space and privacy. You should also ask your mom what other arrangements can be made instead – ie, when your mom first asked if she could stay in your room, what would your mom have done if you’d said no? Was that even an option?
Most likely she’s just kinda clueless and most likely, having been displaced, she is struggling even if you can’t see it. She might be worried, uneasy, uncomfortable, sad, missing others, etc. and I think she deserves sympathy. But you don’t need to have all aspects of your personal space invaded. Talk to your mom, talk to your cousin, and go from there. NTA, possibly N A H.
I doubt there were other options and my mum was just asking out of courtesy,but my cousin is the one who wanted to be away from home and my mum is the only person who agreed on short notice.
Have you told her not to do any of this?
Have you talked to your mum about this?
Yes,I have told her about the things that bother me most but she doesn’t want to listen I feel so defeated
She being your mum or your cousin?
My cousin
NTA Show your mum this post you made and tell her you need her help in establishing houserules as your cousin is driving you mad. So rules about borrowing things, noise, light out, desk time, no foods in the room etc this is the good way to go about it and will help everyone from “killing” each other.
Also ask if she can start sleeping on a madras in the living room so she’s not constantly in your face. That way you can actually build relationship instead of ruining it.
NTA
First, you need to set up security on both your laptop and the iPad. Lock them down so that they cannot be used without a password/pin number and/or fingerprint.
Then talk to your mom and tell her that your cousin is too disruptive and she needs to be moved out of your room and needs to stop taking over and using all of your stuff.
Sit down with her and your mum to establish the boundaries you need and the consequences for breaking those. Then STICK to them.
The more grace you give her, the more she will expect.
NTA. Try talking to her seriously about it. Simple communication can do wonders in living situations like this. If she doesn’t listen, you’re going to have to be a little more stern and show her that this is ultimately your room and that you’re doing her a huge favor by being so gracious. If all else fails, talk to your mom and maybe make a list of things things she’s been doing. This isn’t fair to you in the slightest and I hope things improve!! 🙂
You need to sit down w your mom & have her help you have a conversation w your cousin about boundaries. You don’t give your ages but regardless, mom can help make sure your words don’t get twisted or that you come across wrong. Explain to mom that you don’t have an issue sharing- but you don’t like sharing EVERYTHING and with someone who doesn’t even ask.