AITA for drinking to much last night then getting home and I (38f) told my BF (33m) that I wanted to keep on drinking but after getting out of my clothes and into something more comfy I ended up going to sleep when I was in the couch. I don’t wanna say I passed out because I sat on the couch and ended up dozing off. My shoes were off and had my pajamas on.
My boyfriend was on board to keep drinking but when i fell asleep he woke me up so upset. He wasn’t yelling at me but he was definitely mad that I fell asleep. I don’t drink often and I wasn’t belligerent drunk or being obnoxious. I remember everything. When I woke up to him upset with me we bickered and forth and fell back to sleep after. He left me in the living room to sleep on the couch alone and he went to our bedroom with the door closed and locked the dogs out with me in the living room. They usually sleep in our room but they probably wanted to stay with me. I don’t care that he locked the dogs out of the room but I am super bothered that he was so mad at something as small as me falling asleep.
It was late when we got home. It was a long day that went into an even longer night. I told him sorry I fell asleep but when waking up today and reflecting on it sober, I don’t think I don’t anything wrong…or did I?
We haven’t said much to eachother today and still haven’t talked about it. Before I have a conversation with him, I want to no of others think i am the asshole.
So Reddit, AITA??
Coming home late and falling asleep seems fine. Unless there’s more to this story NTA.
Literally there’s nothing more to the story. I’m so confused. I got us the uber home, when I walked in the house I noticed my dog needed to be brushed (he’s a husky Shepard) I went and changed out of my clothes then went and sat on the couch and fell asleep. Then he woke me up, mad because I told him left drink more (dumb on my part) but I ended up falling asleep and he said “you always do this”…. I don’t drink so not sure what he meant.
He needs to explain what he meant by “always”, then.
With that comment, I’d suspect that he thinks your sex life is lacking. Whether he thinks that you are too often “too tired” or whether he thinks that caring for your dogs (you mentioned brushing the dog) is taking too much of “his” time, I think he’s decided that you “always” are otherwise occupied when he wants to get it on.
Maybe this is a convo to have, maybe you simply deserve to have your wishes and desires (or lack thereof) respected. I think he’s getting angry about not having his assumptions fulfilled.
NTA. It happens and also, plans change. He sounds very immature and basically threw a temper tantrum. What was the point of waking you up? Does he act like this often?!
There’s more to this story.
The bf saying “you always do this” is what tells me we’re missing some key elements here.
Info: do you know why he was mad you fell asleep? Bc that’s not a rational reaction
No a clue. We had a great night out with my Friendsgiving.. we didn’t fight at all so it wasn’t a lingering reaction. So weird and I don’t like that my partner can so easily be mad at something that and not be understanding.
You dont need to share if you dont want to, but were you hinting at “sexy time” all day and then fall asleep at home? Is there a history of mismatched libido between you and your BF? The reason I ask is because your action (falling asleep after a night out) and your BF’s reaction (blowing up and saying you always do this) is a common trend people post about on r/deadbedroom and r/HLcommunity
NTA I get he might be annoyed you fell asleep when he thought the night would be rocking BUT after he got mad at you he also fell asleep. Even without all that, falling asleep is normal. With or without the drinks. I’d be generous and say he was excited to hang and reacted poorly. If I was ungenerous I’d say he acted like a drunk buffoon
NTA – Most likely your BF thought with your being all hammered he was going to get some and then you passed out.
I think NTA no matter what your answer to this question, but I’m curious: do you think he had planned to get frisky with you after you got home? Have you been spending a lot of time apart?
His behavior just seems very irrational, like something is missing.
NTA. And I’d bet money that the reason got angry is he thought you were going to have sex. Locking you out of the room is an asshole move.
I feel like something is missing? This seems like a gross overreaction for falling asleep. I don’t drink much so when I do it makes me sleepy, my spouse would like me those times to stay up and have fun with him but I always inevitably fall asleep. He usually wakes me up and helps me to bed…if he also hasn’t fallen asleep lol. Are you sure this is only about falling asleep?