So, yesterday me and my roommates were walking to the bus stop near our apartment, and I realized I didn’t have my phone. I asked them if they could wait a minute while I went back to get it, the bus comes every 3 minutes, so I thought it was reasonable. One of my roommates refused and just flat out said no, so I left.
This morning, I brought a package of pretzels into our room and started eating. My roommate has a phobia of chewing and demands that we don’t eat in the room (but she gets to eat in the room btw) which I’ve respected until now when I saw she doesn’t take me into consideration. She saw me eating and said something like, “I get that you’re mad, but I had one rule” and I just ignored it and kept eating.
Later, the head of the apartment told me what I did wasn’t okay and I needed to apologize or I could get kicked out. I apologized to avoid consequences.
I feel like I was just responding to her coldness yesterday, I had no problem respecting her rules before, but she made it clear she didn’t care about my feelings. I feel like the situation is one sided.
So AITA?
You both escalated it. She was inconsiderate, but you weaponized her phobia. Now you’re both the assholes stuck in a worse conflict.
ESH.
Although her being able to eat in your share room and you can’t is unreasonable.
ESH. You’re both being disrespectful, and you are being intentionally petty with this tit-for-tat behavior. You’re presumably an adult. Time to start acting like one.
The ‘head of your apartment’ is weighing in on whether or not you should be eating food in your room? Is this someone who lives in your apartment with you or someone who runs the apartment complex/residence?
I woudln’t say YTA but I’d say you’re petty.
How about using words, instead of pretzels, to say how you feel.
‘I thought it was kind of crappy that you wouldn’t wait 3 minutes for me to get my phone’. There. Done.
Also, keep in mind, YOU forgot something (were you going to be late or pressed if you missed the bus? Do you forget things often or cause them to be late/pressed because of last minute things?) Those could all factor into why she wouldn’t wait for you.
The food-eating thing is a separate issue though, you should work that out separately (she can eat but you can’t? In what world does that make sense?)
yes, you both are. stop being childish and petty, grow up
This is some petty ass shit
YTA. She didn’t do anything to you. You made a mistake, you asked for a favor, and she declined to do the favor. If the bus truly comes every 3 minutes (which I kinda doubt), why would it be a big deal for you to take the next one by yourself?
And to take advantage of a phobia in retaliation is out of proportion to what you think she did to you.
It’s not ok that roommate is allowed to eat in the room and ni one else is.
I’m generally sensitive to people with misphonia, but that’s just and unfair runs, to my way of thinking
(Unless it’s something like she’s eating in there to avoid everyone else eating at the table at that same time)
So you weaponised her discomfort/ phobia because she hurt your feelings? YTA, people are allowed to say no to you without repercussions.
Honestly this feels like ESH. She was kinda a jerk for not waiting 2 seconds for you when the bus literally comes every 3 min. That said, you eating pretzels in the room was 100 percent a petty retaliation move, not some righteous stand lol. I get why you did it, but you def escalated it. The head of the apartment jumping straight to “apologize or get kicked out” feels extreme tho. Whole situation sounds messy and lowkey immature on all sides.
Your roommate sounds like if she has a phobia where other people aren’t allowed to eat around her, should live alone.
Your ” head of apartment” sucks at their “job” telling people they can’t eat in their home is absolutely nobodies job. Nor is it a boundary that is acceptable to have.
If she can’t stand people eating then she needs to leave.
I’d start looking for different housing ASAP. You guys clearly aren’t compatible and this is going to get worse.
I also wouldn’t have for a single second let her phobia dictate where I’m eating food. Head phone, ear plugs, white noise machines exsist and can help with this issue.
Honestly though ESH, you shouldn’t have accepted her controlling where your allowed to eat from the jump. Sometimes people just aren’t gonna wait for you, being vindictive isn’t cool.
esh. sounds like you’re all 10 year olds. there’s no context but your roommate could’ve had a valid reason for not waiting an extra three, or six, minutes.
ESH
Y’all fr need to grow up.
ESH. I think she probably sucks more because that’s an unfair rule from the start, and it was weird to not wait for a few minutes for you, but you’re handling this in just about the least mature way possible.