I, 32M and my ex 33F had been together for 4 years, we started the relationship shortly after her divorce of a 10 year marriage. About 2 years into our relationship her ex husband tried sueing her because she hadn’t assumed the loan of the house out of his name or sold it and the house was in foreclosure. She ended up winning that case due to his negligence and the judge gave her more time. She tried multiple avenues to get the house and loan in her name and was unable to accomplish any of them. She had pushed for me to move in shortly after our relationship started and that continued through the relationship, I wasnt willing to do so until a few of my standards could be met as well as it seemed too fast and too pressured by her insisting. I ended up agreeing to buy the house after she continuously asked me to and started using language like" if you dont I’ll be homeless". I had to put a good chunk of change into the place to get it up to standard for the appraisal to be done for her to sell it to me, which she paid me back along with all closing fees and other debts she owed me with the profit from me buying the house for more than what was remaining on her previous loan, and has paid rent every month to cover the mortgage payment. I have since invested another large sum of my own money into the property for repairs and enhancements that needed to be done. Im the only one on the deed and the loan as well as the only party legally liable and financially responsible for the property. That being prefaced, after our breakup she still resides in the house and pays rent everyone in the same amount she has which solely covers the mortgage payment. We tried remaining friends but through her actions and decisions she made it clear I was solely a landlord, which is perfectly fine but as a landlord I wanted to get an official lease so that we were both protected if anything happened. I had a standard month to month lease drafted and raised rent by 200.00 a month (still 400.00 less than fair market value on rent for similar and lesser properties in the area) so that I could have some money to go into a maintenance fund for the property. I didnt require security deposit and tweaked the pet clause where she was allowed her 5 dogs as long as she cleaned up after them and they didnt cause more property damage. I presented it to her and she refused to sign it, I then gave her 3 days to offer revisions she would like to see for my review. On the third day she responded and said she refused to sign it as written and didnt agree that my 3 day deadline was grounds for refusal without response. Following the next legal steps I issued her a 60 day non renewal of tenancy notice where she will have to vacate the premises by April 1st. We are now in the waiting stages of the 60 day process and im curious what reddit thinks about the situation.
Nta
NTA you are her landlord. You have been more than generous and she refuses to sign. Frankly it is not healthy to rent to friends anyway.
Or exes.
NTA. She made it clear you are just her landlord, nothing more. You owe her nothing. She refused to sign a tenancy agreement that would be more than fair, so she gets kicked out. That’s how the world works, and it’s all due to her actions, or inactions.
I mean mostly? NTA she made her bed figuratively speaking. She could’ve had a family member or really close platonic friend buy the house and pay them rent but instead she chose the relationship that isn’t guaranteed to be shelf stable. I do think a lease to protect you both makes sense although three days to edit is a pretty short turn around time. Especially if she wants to have a lawyer of some sort look it over. That short time frame is why I’m a bit on the fence, otherwise most adults with life experience advise against having a boyfriend or girlfriend buy you a house because unless your name is on the deed you’re homeless post breakup.
NTA. You’ve been generous and wholly transparent. I love dogs, but no one would lease anything to a person with 5. She married very young by my math and not matured at all.
NTA, but I hope you have insurance. I wouldnt be surprised to hear of some accidents causing a lot of damage as she’s moving out
That whole situation was not healthy. You were willing to buy the house, but you and the bank own it, rather than you being a cosigner (you and the now ex owning it). I assume she was no able to be a cosigner because of whatever complications she had.
Despite her behaving like a tenant, asking her to sign a lease was almost surely never going to work. She has lived in the house as the owner. Does as she likes, when she likes, how she likes, as she always did – and you dropped boundaries on that her brain is not going to adjust to.
Now you’re in this uncomfortable position in which she is acting more like an owner, when she isn’t. You don’t really have a choice but to do what you need to. If she has been good about paying you back, and paying what she owes on time, she should find herself another place to live.
Possibly having that many dogs sort of throws cold water on that. Not every place will take dogs, and its usually either a max of two, or a combined weight under a defined amount.
NTA, and good luck. There’s nothing pretty about what will happen if she doesn’t get over it and sign the lease.
NTA- It’s fair to want protections and all dating benifits for her are gone. Your home, your loan, your liability. She can go if she doesn’t like it. Honestly her refusal is a gift to you. Don’t want to date another girl, bring her home and say thats my ex/roomie when she’s seen.
NTA. Do what you gotta do. She put herself in not the best situation and probably think of it as “her house”…but facts are facts. She’s a tenant.
you’re kind of an asshole for putting that all in one paragraph
I cannot understand why people continually do this. And why not TL:DR on TOP.
NTA. You saved her from foreclosure and homelessness. You are now her landlord and she is refusing to follow basic legal procedures.
NTA. I get that the situation is hard, but you can’t be the landlord without a lease forever. That just doesn’t work.
I guess you could give her the option to buy it, but you know she can’t so that’s really just for looks.
Do what you need to.