AITA for expecting my bf to contribute a little for a concert I called him to

I’ve had an on and off relationship/situationship with this guy for about 5 months. a few months back my favourite artist announced that he was coming to my country for the first time. International artists concerts are expensive here but I knew I had to make it. I had recently started dating that guy and asked him to come along. He agreed to it and I was happy about it. I was so happy that I even told him that the expense for the tickets are on me don’t worry.

In the months that followed, he made me pay for his flight tickets once when I told him to come back when he was in his home city as I was missing him. i thought he was joking when he asked me for the money but I payed that anyways. I was telling him that he should upgrade his wardrobe so he told me to take him shopping and guess what I paid the whole bill. He was having extreme hairfall so I told him that he should see the doctor and he took me there and made me pay for it as well.

Now after so many yes and nos, this guy finally shows up for the concert ( he didn’t want to leave his business for a day as we were going to a nearby city but never fully denied or agreed on coming) .

he missed the train I had booked and then somehow came later by himself.

My mobile’ s network was poor and i didn’t have much cash after paying for a beer so he paid for the food we had there and the lounge we stayed at . constantly kept blaming me for not arranging our night stay (which i had done only for myself as he had already cancelled his plans before changing his mind). we just needed 4 hours of stay anyways.

so after all this, we came back and he immediately started asking for money he’d spent on cabs,train and food and said that he is not going to pay a single penny for an artist’s show he didn’t have any interest in ( he himself admitted earlier that he enjoyed the show).

this whole conversation turned ugly, I said I thought we’d split on this at least, why are you acting like i forced you for all this and you were being paid to provide me company.

He then started saying that I’ve done nothing for him, the flight tickets were on me as I wanted him to come. everything else was also by my choice so i had to pay. To add to it he started saying he’s wasted a lot on petrol everytime he came to pick me up ( as if I told him to, and most of the time he used to take me around to do his work), forgetting all the money I’ve spent on my uber rides to come to his place . He even started counting the number of times he offered me alcohol (4 to be precise, and I’m not even a drinker, I haven’t even drank a bottle of alcohol at his place).

He even started saying that he used to pay for all the huge bills at restaurants and I only paid at cheaper places ,which is a lie . Whenever he used to come over ,we used to order food from my card and we barely used to go to expensive places.

I never thought this guy would start acting so cheap.In the beginning he used to brag about spending big on his birthday parties . urghh

I’ve cut contact with him since this happened which was yesterday…

13 thoughts on “AITA for expecting my bf to contribute a little for a concert I called him to”
  1. ESH you both sound exhausting actually, he should be paying for some things and you need to stop criticising him and demanding he change things about himself (hair, clothes etc). Also no one is forcing you to pay for anything, just say no when he asks / tells you to pay.

  2. Just cut your losses and move on. You would pretty much have to do better when you meet someone new. 😁

  3. He didn’t “make” you pay for his trip, his clothes, his doctor, etc. YTA to yourself. Have some self-respect and dump this leech.

  4. NTA. He’s acting like he’s doing you a favour just by spending time with you, so transactional and manipulative. On top of that trying to make you feel bad about yourself. What the hell is wrong with this guy, to even count how many drinks he got you in the past lol wow, such a turn off.

    SO glad you’re no longer dating, please never again. Block and delete his number, don’t leave any avenues for him to sneak back into your life. There are so many great guys out there that will treat you well and will never make expenses an issue in the relationship even if they are broke as hell.

    1. Ikr 😔 the mental trauma has been extreme… I haven’t mentioned even half of all such similar incidents. He definitely makes a huge deal out of giving me his time . has extreme anger issues and has been verbally abusive as hell. I just used to get very anxious everytime I decided to leave or he’d leave. He’d come back saying i shouldn’t take things he says out of anger to my heart.

  5. He sounds like one of those “your money is ours, my money is my own” kinds of people. They tend to be bad financial partners. NTA

  6. He sounds awful, but he didn’t MAKE you do anything. Saying “No” is an option you had all along. You actually let him use you for your money, so it’s great you finally realized who he is and got rid of him.

  7. No one can MAKE anyone give them money or spend money on them.

    Respect yourself better and don’t allow anyone to use you. This includes friends, family, colleagues and dating people.

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