I’m F (20) and my boyfriend is M (33). We live separately, but I stayed at his place for a week recently. I’m a student with almost no income, while he works full-time in the food and beverage industry.
At the start of the week, I took on some freelance delivery jobs. I filled up my tank with about **$15 worth of fuel**, worked the whole day, and later topped up another **$8** because my tank was already low.
After that day, I didn’t work again for the rest of the week. Instead, I let my boyfriend use my car every day to commute to work. Sometimes he used it to bring me food, which I appreciated.
But when I got my car back on Saturday, the fuel gauge was down to **two bars**. I was upset because **I** had paid to fill the tank, **he** used the car the entire week, and when I finally needed it again, there was almost nothing left. I had to drive somewhere about 40–45 minutes away, so I immediately had to think about refueling again. I only get about **$30 a week**, and I also have debts; fuel is a big chunk of my weekly budget.
To me, it felt like basic respect that if you borrow someone’s car all week, you return it with at least some fuel in it. Even topping up a small amount would’ve helped.
When I told him how I felt, he got defensive. He said he’s done a lot for me and that if he “calculated everything I’ve used,” I wouldn’t be able to repay him. He also said he thought *I* would refill it.
The thing is, I know he’s helped me in many ways, but I’m also a broke student. I’ve never asked him for luxuries nor jewelleries, or fancy dates. We usually eat at home. And when we do go out, sometimes he asks me to order our food together or pay for my own food. I was usually okay paying for my own food, but I wished he could have princessed me a bit and offer to pay at least, and I feel pressured to pay so I don’t seem ungrateful. It’s mentally and financially exhausting.
There were even weeks before this one where I filled up the tank but didn’t get to use my own car because he borrowed it the whole time. Now he’s saying he should start “charging me for everything I use,” which really hurt because he knows I can’t afford to split everything 50/50.
All I wanted was something small: if he used my car the entire week, don’t return it nearly empty.
It makes me sad because part of me feels like… shouldn’t a grown man with a steady job be a bit more thoughtful? Shouldn’t he consider my situation? I don’t have the luxury of casually spending extra money on fuel every time someone else drains it.
I already feel guilty for being poor. I don’t want to feel guilty for asking for basic courtesy. I didn’t ask for much just don’t leave my tank on two bars after using my car all week.
NTA for expecting him to full up your tank but what are you doing with a 33 year old boy who doesn’t have his own car?? Get a weekend part time job and save up so you can have more independence
NTA for the car, but he’s already wearing you down mentally and financially. And he’s clearly very manipulative. Older guys date women significantly younger because they can control them more easily.
Break up, focus on your studies and date guys around your age for a while. Do it for yourself.
While you are NTA, why are you with a man who is 33 years old and still doesn’t understand basic decency? It won’t get better
That’s why he is dating someone so much younger. No one his own age would put up with his crap
NTA. Yes, he should have put gas in the tank.
And why, at 20, are you dating someone who’s 33?
Fair question but I think a better question is “Why is 33 year old man dating a 20 year old?”
I’m kidding. We all know why. What a sleaze.