My friends and I frequently go on Discord and play this platform fighting game called brawlhalla. While we were playing, two of my friends were shit-talking each other. For context, we are all Bahamians, and if you know Bahamians, when we shit-talk one another, it is common to say stuff like harsh name-calling, having sex with someone’s girl (for example) or something of that sort. In this situation, two of my other friends were arguing, let’s call them Dylan and Josh. Dylan told Josh that when he wakes up in the morning, he can’t see his wood (implying that it’s bc he’s fat). Josh responded, saying that he can’t see it because it’s down Dylan’s girl’s throat.
At this time, just me, those two and two of our other male friends were on the voice call. However, Josh’s girlfriend is in the Discord server as well. I thought it would be funny to ragebait her as it is a common thing we do to ALL of our friends’ s/o in good fun. I sent a clip of that interaction, and I mentioned his girlfriend so that she would see it. When ragebaiting, I try to be very obvious, so in addition to that, I said things like, "omg you deserve better", "I can’t believe that he would say something like that", "do you know how far it has to be to not be able to see it?" Immediately following the post, he wasn’t obviously upset about it, though he mentioned that it was kinda nuts. It was not until his girlfriend expressed her anger with him that he became angry with me.
He proceeded to curse and yell at me in front of everyone, which I laughed the entire time out of disbelief that he was actually that mad. He often brags about times like when we ragebaited our female friend’s ex-boyfriend so hard that she broke up with him because he would send her Snapchat messages crying about what we said to him (Note: We weren’t actually the reason for the breakup, just to be clear). Now that he’s in the hot seat, it’s not so funny. I explained to him that, knowing the kind of relationship we all have in our circle, it should have been apparent to him that he should explain to his girlfriend what to expect when joining the Discord server. Also, if he knows that his girlfriend dislikes the way that he jokes around with his friends that’s not something he should do even behind her back, as it shows a lack of integrity.
I was put in a similar situation because there was this joke my friends liked to make that I’m having an affair with one of our friend’s mom just because I was her favourite. My girlfriend DID NOT like it at all, but I explained the situation (which she understood), and I don’t encourage those jokes anymore out of respect for her.
Even now that he’s still holding a grudge, if allowed to, I would be willing to explain to his girlfriend that it was all a joke and it wasn’t my intention to hurt her feelings or ruin their relationship because it actually wasn’t. Josh genuinely believes he did nothing, and I’m just in the wrong, exposing him and thinking it’s funny. AITA?
INFO: Why do you think it’s funny to purposefully make people angry?
EDIT: YTA – There’s nothing funny about hurting people, whether it’s physical or emotional. When someone falls unintentionally, you should be concerned about whether they are seriously injured, not taking amusement from it.
Common kind of question but im sure how to explain that to you. It makes me laugh when ppl are angry. Like when ppl fall you shouldn’t laugh bc they can get seriously injured but you still laugh anyway bc its jus funny
YTA and if your story didn’t already prove that, this comment definitely did.
Elaborate
Why? So you can try and justify or explain away your shitty behaviors like you’ve been doing on other peoples comments? You’re just an asshole who thinks it’s funny to make people angry, and can’t take it when your friends call you out for being an asshole.
ESH. He’s guilty of doing the same thing so of course he gets lumped into what I am going to say here. You can’t rage bait and then get surprised when the person gets enraged. That is literally your goal. That makes you an AH. If you can’t face the consequences of someone being angry at you for your actions then do not undertake actions *designed* for that.
You all need to grow up. There’s a huge difference between shit talking and this.
So your gf didn’t like something and you cut it out, but you fail to give his gf the same grace? How about this, keep your infantile jokes among the guys? YTA.
Not sure abt the limitations of how I can defend myself but I just don’t understand what you’re saying. I said that I would explain to her that it’s just a joke so that she would understand moving forward but obviously I wasn’t. He technically doesn’t have to stop what he’s doing at all once she understand that his intentions don’t go beyond clapping back at friend. Hope that helps.
What was the joke to explain? You sent her an actual conversation that actually happened. Just bc you say “haha jkjkjk lol” doesn’t mean that you didn’t send a real convo.
ESH. If this was as universal as you say, your girlfriends would already expect it and be cool with it.
I do give you points for saying the guys shouldnʻt joke around behind someoneʻs back if they would be embarrassed to have that person find out – although I hope you mean this more generally, not just about girlfriends.
You say you ragebait all your friendsʻ SOs “in good fun” – would they all agree that it was in good fun? Because itʻs only fun if everyone enjoys it.
In general, you should only trash talk or ragebait people who trash talk or ragebait you back to the same extent and frequency. That includes SOs. If you scale back to that, you would be N T A.
Well yes most of them are aware of this and this is the first instance where we directly had an issue in this regard.
Yes, I do mean generally. It’s something I and all of us value in our circle. We don’t say anything about anyone that we wouldnt say to their face.
The whole reason you ragebait someone is because they’re oblivious enough to get mad at it. Otherwise it would be very obvious youre not being serious. I can say tho everyone else in the server found it funny and didnt it was that serious to genuinely be mad at beyond the scope of the joke.
Besides we all do it its not exclusive to anyone.
Yeah your js a massive asshole you suck gng
I believe you meant to say YTA lol