A few years ago I started an adult league baseball team. I handled recruiting, league communication, jerseys, the whole thing.
After a couple seasons, my job required me to move away. I left the team in the hands of a close buddy (call him Jack) and stayed on good terms with everyone.
Fast forward about 4 years, I move back, rejoined the team and was genuinely excited to play again. Performance wise, I held my own: by most objective measures I was probably the 4th or 5th best player on the roster and a consistent starter at my position. I’d also be a solid starter on pretty much any other team in the league, so this wasn’t a performance or effort issue.
The issue was leadership and dynamics. A guy (call him John) we originally kept around just to have numbers had become a co-leader in my absence with Jack. Jack had become a bit of a push over when making decisions and allowed John almost full responsibility. From my first season back, John had constant disrespect towards me: talking down to me, undermining me in front of teammates, treating me like I was “new”, etc.
I tried to keep my head down and just play, hoping things would smooth out, but it never really improved. Now I’ve been told by John I’m no longer welcome on the team and effectively kicked off something I originally built. About half way through the season I grabbed beers with them both and talk about what was going on and how a felt coming back. They both denied any wrong doing and chalked it up to friendly banter.
The second to last game, I was told by John that I’d never be good enough to play on this team due to my age. Which is weird with myself being 2 years younger than him. That was my breaking point and lead to an argument mid game. Not my best reaction but after two months of continuous disrespect that was the breaking point for me. Jack, John and I had a chat after the next game and John claimed to never put me or any other teammate down like I described. We apologized to each other and supposedly put it behind us.
I’m honestly less angry and more confused. I understand teams evolve and leadership changes, but it’s hard to reconcile being pushed out when I was contributing on the field and not causing problems off it.
AITA or should I just move on to another team?
Join another team and beat their bums.
Time for demon mode, I think you’re right!
You’ve got a toxic situation there, and it’s clear John doesn’t know how to treat people. You built that team and contributed significantly; you deserve respect, not condescension. Jack’s inability to lead effectively is also a problem. Don’t waste your energy on individuals who don’t recognize your worth. It’s time to consider moving on to a different team where you’ll be appreciated for what you bring, rather than being treated like an outsider in something that’s yours by right. Focus on enjoying the game without that negativity holding you back.
I appreciate this response. Something I needed to hear (read) I think. Thank you!
INFO: What did James say when John denied doing the things that you claim led to a mid-game argument? Presumably James would have noticed something like that?
Jack was recording the game on his 360 camera and said he would watch the footage, but never did or never brought it to my attention. Then it mysteriously ’stopped’ recording at that point in the game.
Damn even John got the best of you learn to talk smack…… either way join a new team