I’m a 20M. My family has Sunday dinners most weeks. One of my uncles (50s) always turns every dinner into a lecture about whatever news topic he’s obsessed with social issues, current events, whatever. If someone tries to change the subject, he just keeps pushing it.
Last weekend he cornered me and started grilling me about something I clearly said I didn’t want to discuss. I told him multiple times I wasn’t interested in debating and just wanted to enjoy dinner. Instead of backing off, he kept repeating the same points louder and louder.
I finally lost it and said that if he couldn’t have a normal dinner without turning it into an argument every week, maybe I shouldn’t come anymore. I didn’t call him names or anything, but I was blunt and a bit sharp about it.
Now my mom and aunt are upset with me for “ruining the mood” and say I embarrassed the family by arguing back. A couple of cousins said I was out of line for escalating instead of just sitting quietly. I still think it was reasonable to set a boundary.
NTA
NTA but I’d find a reason to skip dinners from now on
NTA! Your family have clearly let him get away with his bad behaviour for too long! I get sometimes ppl dont want to cause drama but this was a clear cut case of him harrassing and bullying you.
FYI handheld fog horns are a great way to shut down ppl who wont shut up! 😉
NTA. Your uncle is TA and your family lets him be it. I don’t think you did anything wrong, it’s great you stood up for yourself. Too bad no one stood with you.
It’s unlikely anything will change, and who knows what will happen if you go back-if no one says anything or if he makes a big deal out of it.
Remember: no one can make you do anything. You’re 20. Make sure you have a way to leave-your own car, walk to a bus, call an uber or a friend. If you’re not comfortable the next time you go to a family dinner, Ieave.
NTA. Someone needed to stand up to that bully. Your family clearly didn’t have the guts. Don’t let him ,or anyone, treat you like that
Nta, just don’tgo anymore. I hate animated conversation that turn into screaming match. I had my load of familly dispute small or big that now i’m running from any dispute. Life is too short too be irate, frustrate or even hurt by familly. I will be there for good time, hard time but not just to create controversial dispute and distance between familly menber. I would just step away and not go if his attitude don’t change.
NTA. Why do other people put up with this? If he never has anything nice or pleasant to say, then he shouldn’t say anything at all. Goodness. Not everything has to be a debate or an argument. Especially not at family dinner. Thats just poor manners.
Why has no-one in the family pulled him up on this yet? If my sibling did this at each gathering, I’d shoosh that up real quick
NTA. Maybe it’s time to skip the next few get together.
NTA. You set a boundary, he immediately kicked it down. He is ruining your mood for family dinners – your family doesn’t seem to care about that.
So, what are you going to do about it?
You don’t have to attend these meals you know. Make Sunday your day to go out for the day.
Nta
There’s a subspecies of people who get off on being agent provocateurs. Good for you for calling him on it,
What is this, the Sermon on the Mount? You don’t have time for his nonsense, even if they do.
NTA. Your uncle is and so are the people upset with you for calling him out on it. They’re just upset they never had the courage to do it themselves. You’re obviously the brave one in your family. I’d keep going to the dinners and keep speaking up. You’re not the one doing anything wrong, and it’s time to drive that fact home to all those people who have been humoring your uncle for who knows how long.