Me (43 m) and my wife (45 f) have two kids that are 9 and 12. I’ve been working the same job for about 5 years and it’s been a dead end. My wife is a stay at home mom cause we’re catholic, which is alright by me, but it’s been making finances tough. I picked the bottle right back up to get through it all and ain’t exactly been hiding it. I don’t get aggressive when I drink so I never saw the problem with the kids seeing me when I’m hammered. I mean, I’m drinking right now and you probably can’t tell a thing.
My wife’s been nagging me about it but hasn’t had a damn reason to til now.
My son looks up to me and used to dress up in my work clothes. Since he saw me drinking, he stole my beer and drank a bottle or two. After that, my wife’s been threatening divorce if I don’t go cold turkey. I don’t think it’s my fault, not like I told him to, but she’s getting on me more and more. She’s even making me sleep on the couch.
So, am I the asshole?
ESH
You’re a drunk, get help.
What the hell does being Catholic have to do with not working? If things are tight the kids are old enough that your wife can get back out of the house and bring in a second income.
YTA even children of non-alcoholics do not benefit from having an intoxicated parent around.
Look up adult children of alcoholic if you are one…You are no doubt damaging your children.
YTA.
>Since he saw me drinking, he stole my beer and drank a bottle or two.
WTF?? How are you not alarmed by this? You should be keeping alcohol away from kids, esp pre-teens!! Also
>My wife is a stay at home mom cause we’re catholic, which is alright by me, but it’s been making finances tough.
Is not a valid reason imo. Why can’t she go out and help you?
Of course YTA. The fact you even have to question whether getting drunk around your kids is ok just shows how deep you are into alcohol abuse. I’m hoping this is a troll post, but on the offhand chance it isn’t, get help. If not for you, for your kids. As the child of an alcoholic, it will permanently damage your relationships and how others view you. Every single time you pick up a drink, you are choosing alcohol over your wife and kids, they know that and it will chip away at those relationships.
YTA
If you’re routinely drinking to get drunk and your minor child is stealing alcohol, that’s a big red flag. It means you’re not demonstrating a healthy relationship with alcohol and being hammered around your kids means you can’t be an attentive parent.
Your wife shouldn’t have to tell you not to get hammered around your kids consistently.
There is a lot going on here
>My wife is a stay at home mom cause we’re catholic
Um….. not really sure about the correlation here.
>I’m drinking right now and you probably can’t tell a thing
Well… I could definitely tell you’re not exactly the brightest of bulbs. Whether thats due to drinking or just in general… but yes I can tell your brain isn’t working very well.
>…but hasn’t had a damn reason to til now
She’s had reasons, but apparently the being hammered in front of your kids reason is one that actually penetrated.
>So, am I the asshole?
Yes. YTA
YTA for not seeming to care that your underage son drank a bottle or two of beer. It doesn’t matter if you’re not aggressive while drunk. You’re still being negligent as a parent.
Your wife should also get a job to help out financially. I’ve never heard of Catholic women not being allowed to be working moms. Have a conversation with her about that and please get help for your alcoholism.
Hammered?
We all grew up at family parties and seeing our parents drink. But not hammered.
It’s weird you think it’s only a problem if you get aggressive.
YTA
Yes, YTA. I’ll drink every now and again. In moderation. Never more than one while I’m home with my family, and never more than once a week. My kids know I drink and they aren’t phased because I do so responsibly.
Go to an AA meeting and get into therapy.
“I mean, I’m drinking right now and you probably can’t tell a thing.”
1. Don’t act like we all don’t know autocorrect is doing the heavy lifting here.
2. Your grammar alone leads me to believe that you imbibe regularly.
What the hell, sure.
Yes, YTA for a multitude of reasons. If you keep up this pace, your alleged wife will have to get a job because your algorithm is going to crash out soon. I mean body. Yes, body. Not to mention the affect you’re already having on the smaller LLMs in the household.
YTA As the daughter of a “highly functioning alcoholic” I can attest that children see all and understand more than you want them too. Your son proved that by imitating your drinking.
Go to AA meetings. Save your marriage. Look for a better job. Be a better man.
This is utter fantasy. YTA for writing this story
You’re modeling behaviors that your underage children are mimicking. I don’t think this is as simple as being an AH. You’re an alcoholic. You choose substance abuse to deal with your problems instead of taking it up with your wife and treating her like a member of the team.
Get help, man. And don’t tell me you can quit anytime until you actually do it.
YTA